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 EQ Viruses

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manga

manga

Posts : 923
Join date : 2015-03-25

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptySun Apr 12, 2015 11:18 pm

Oh man, this is OLD...!

But still fun, I hope.

I did this with friends a few million years ago, so it's not all my work. It's been on the EQ mailing list and on the Scroll of Colors.

Strongbow and Moonshade Virus: won't let you upgrade becuase it considers your current opperating system the only 'Way'.

Cutter Virus: Fills your head with dreams of upgrading, then leads you on a wild goose chase all over you hard drive to optimize performance.

Winnowill Virus: Reconfigures your hard drive to run faster than ever before (and I mean fly!), in exchange for an agreement that you will never use any software besides it. And if you try, it fries your entire system.

Lord Voll Virus: Leads you on a grand optimization path, then crashes the entire system.

Picknose Virus: Automatically deletes any program with the word 'gold' in it. (Printshop Gold, etc.)

Old Maggoty Virus: Displays this message on your screen '<Hic>'.

Skywise Virus: Engages your 'Starfield' screensaver program, and freezes the screen at random intervals so that it can name the constellations.

Leetah Virus: Can't make up its mind whether to let you network or not.

Scouter Virus: Your word processor and graphics utilities randomly execute the 'zoom in' command, then show you a stampeding herd of
zwoots.

Suntop Virus: causes your system to shut down indefinitely, while it ponders its 'magic feeling'. Includes a nice light show, though...

Ember Virus: Your hard drive information divides into two groups, one transmitted to parts unknown, while the other is pitched into fits of outputting random garbage, due to 'bugs' in the system.

Kahvi Virus: tries to steal your hard drive for it's own computer. If you thwart it, the virus will demand that you at least let it have -half-.

Kahvi Virus 2: Hurls insulting messages at you when you leave the room and close the door.

Venka Virus: Is perfectly friendly and helpful, but if you try and do something it thinks is stupid, the virus will neutralize your system.

Rayek Virus: If you cross it, you will stand no more chance... than -this-!

Rayek Virus II: Freezes the entire system when you get it angry.

Two-Edge Virus: Manipulates your system into a cyber war so that it can decide if it's Apple or IBM.

Two-Edge Virus II: Manipulates your system into a cyber war so that it can decide if it's OS/2 or
Windows.

Savah Virus: Remembers every program ever installed to your hard drive, no matter how many times you try and delete them, they keep coming back.

Suntoucher Virus: Shorts out your video card, after prompting you to 'see' with other eyes.
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Kindredsoul

Kindredsoul

Posts : 1242
Join date : 2012-06-24

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptySun Apr 12, 2015 11:21 pm

OMFG I"M DYING!!! Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling

I can't even pick a favorite, they're all hilarious!!  *runs to the bathroom*

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Santa_10EQ Viruses Downlo23EQ Viruses Av_cut10EQ Viruses 2020_k13
Compliments go to Embala for bringing a British cat and an American dog together via Photoshop!
chibi cutter compliments of katcombs!
Cutter egg 2018 from Embala
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ChristinaRaibert

ChristinaRaibert

Posts : 198
Join date : 2014-03-07

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptySun Apr 12, 2015 11:22 pm

@manga wrote:
Winnowill Virus: Reconfigures your hard drive to run faster than ever before (and I mean fly!), in exchange for an agreement that you will never use any software besides it. And if you try, it fries your entire system.

Lord Voll Virus: Leads you on a grand optimization path, then crashes the entire system.

@manga wrote:
Scouter Virus: Your word processor and graphics utilities randomly execute the 'zoom in' command, then show you a stampeding herd of
zwoots.

@manga wrote:
Savah Virus: Remembers every program ever installed to your hard drive, no matter how many times you try and delete them, they keep coming back.

Suntoucher Virus: Shorts out your video card, after prompting you to 'see' with other eyes.

Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling These killed me!

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Ba_hea10
Thanks to my dearest friend Embala for the signature! Healing currents, indeed... I love you
Over-the-moon Sunstream and EQ Viruses Blinki12 'shipper
"She answered his faraway, telepathic call, introducing him to her watery domain. Her longings fulfilled, she knows he will soon go by another name on this world... and on many others. Will she go with him?"
Sunstream and Brill, 1999 "Lovemates" Calendar
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faeriegirl

faeriegirl

Leo Snake
Posts : 706
Join date : 2014-03-09
Age : 30

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 3:15 am

These are brilliant!!

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EQ Viruses Faerie10
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TrollHammer

TrollHammer

Posts : 649
Join date : 2012-07-31
Location : O'er Der.....

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 10:34 am

Two-Edge virus 3.0: Automatically downloads if you thwart versions 1.0 and 2.0. Starts sampling versions of Linux. You will experience a different version of Linux every time you "wake up" your computer.

Two Edge virus 3.1: added service that randomly changes the font and appearance of your documents, as well as the desktop theme, just when you got used to it.

Rayak virus 3.0: randomly skips 10,000 cycles of main processor time.

Rayak virus 4.0: each time you save a personal file that you have spent any time on, suddenly and without warning it moves it to inaccessible part of the "cloud" for 10 weeks before returning it to your hard drive.

Sunstream virus 1.0: automatically shares anything you type (as well as video and audio streams of your webcams and smart TV) with every social networking service that ever existed and ever will exist. You cannot override this, and it happens whenever it decides it wants to.

Sunstream virus 2.0: Google.
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PCoquelin

PCoquelin

Pisces Monkey
Posts : 1378
Join date : 2012-07-14
Age : 52
Location : St-Michel/Orge - France

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 11:16 am

@TrollHammer wrote:
Sunstream virus 1.0: automatically shares anything you type (as well as video and audio streams of your webcams and smart TV) with every social networking service that ever existed and ever will exist. You cannot override this, and it happens whenever it decides it wants to.

I love that one.


Shaman virus : once you've found the time to read one page of text, forces you to read ten more before you can shut the text editor. No shutdown of the computer allowed.

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faeriegirl

faeriegirl

Leo Snake
Posts : 706
Join date : 2014-03-09
Age : 30

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 11:39 am

Bearclaw virus: will gamble you whether the computer will work or not.

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EQ Viruses Faerie10
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manga

manga

Posts : 923
Join date : 2015-03-25

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 12:38 pm

Lol! Keep up the good work, guys!

Winnowill virus 2.0 - partitions your harddrive and fills the new part with malware and viruses that launch to take over the rest.
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Kindredsoul

Kindredsoul

Posts : 1242
Join date : 2012-06-24

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 12:58 pm

Madcoil Virus: (aka: Sorry about your luck, or lack there of)

All nasty bad viruses merged into one virus mutation. Bluescreen. Blackscreen. Hard drive crashed. Back ups deleted. You're totally screwed. Save yourself the time and money and just buy a new one.

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Santa_10EQ Viruses Downlo23EQ Viruses Av_cut10EQ Viruses 2020_k13
Compliments go to Embala for bringing a British cat and an American dog together via Photoshop!
chibi cutter compliments of katcombs!
Cutter egg 2018 from Embala
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ChristinaRaibert

ChristinaRaibert

Posts : 198
Join date : 2014-03-07

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 1:07 pm

Surge Virus: takes control of all your passwords and personal data and randomly swaps them at lightning speed when it perceives an application, program or website isn't "safe" enough. If you try to remove it from the system, it changes the firewall settings so that you can't reset them but are "safe from external threats" (in its logic).

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Ba_hea10
Thanks to my dearest friend Embala for the signature! Healing currents, indeed... I love you
Over-the-moon Sunstream and EQ Viruses Blinki12 'shipper
"She answered his faraway, telepathic call, introducing him to her watery domain. Her longings fulfilled, she knows he will soon go by another name on this world... and on many others. Will she go with him?"
Sunstream and Brill, 1999 "Lovemates" Calendar
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TrollHammer

TrollHammer

Posts : 649
Join date : 2012-07-31
Location : O'er Der.....

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 2:09 pm

Mindcoil Virus: Puts every computer it comes in contact with into sleep mode permanently.

Nonna Virus: generates pictorial interpretations of your text files and posts them on you desktop.... and your FB... and your twitter feed.... and your email contacts... and watermarks every image saved on your computer with the images.

Adar Virus: Panics any time anything changes and protects anything the Nonna Virus does without any intent or purpose other than that it was a change made by the Nonna Virus. Kind of an 'anti-anti-virus', it is unresponsive to 'reasonable' antivirus software.

Treestump Virus: Stubbornly refuses to be removed. Tends to attack foreign viruses if they interfere with viruses it approves of (protection mode). Generates new useful files after trial and error with unuseful files.

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Leanan

Leanan

Scorpio Rooster
Posts : 1669
Join date : 2014-03-07
Age : 38
Location : ...just lurking around...

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 4:10 pm

These are awesome! Pike Rolling Pike Rolling Pike Rolling

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EQ Viruses Ba_rec10
Read 'Beyond Mere Flight' - click here!
Skywise Wink thanks to Embala for the banner! Kahvi )
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ChristinaRaibert

ChristinaRaibert

Posts : 198
Join date : 2014-03-07

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 5:46 pm

Mer-Winnowill Virus: Overloads your CPU launching all your programs and softwares at once. If you try to heal the system, the Mer-Winnowill Virus freezes it.

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Ba_hea10
Thanks to my dearest friend Embala for the signature! Healing currents, indeed... I love you
Over-the-moon Sunstream and EQ Viruses Blinki12 'shipper
"She answered his faraway, telepathic call, introducing him to her watery domain. Her longings fulfilled, she knows he will soon go by another name on this world... and on many others. Will she go with him?"
Sunstream and Brill, 1999 "Lovemates" Calendar
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TrollHammer

TrollHammer

Posts : 649
Join date : 2012-07-31
Location : O'er Der.....

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 5:53 pm

Rayak Virus v0.5: Causes a program to freeze when you stare at the screen too long.
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ChristinaRaibert

ChristinaRaibert

Posts : 198
Join date : 2014-03-07

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 5:55 pm

Brill Virus: Switches on your computer at night time and opens a backdoor for the Sunstream Virus to install itself in the system. Afterward you get repeated alert messages to "not live in fear" of other EQ malware.

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Ba_hea10
Thanks to my dearest friend Embala for the signature! Healing currents, indeed... I love you
Over-the-moon Sunstream and EQ Viruses Blinki12 'shipper
"She answered his faraway, telepathic call, introducing him to her watery domain. Her longings fulfilled, she knows he will soon go by another name on this world... and on many others. Will she go with him?"
Sunstream and Brill, 1999 "Lovemates" Calendar
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PCoquelin

PCoquelin

Pisces Monkey
Posts : 1378
Join date : 2012-07-14
Age : 52
Location : St-Michel/Orge - France

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 5:59 pm

Go-Back virus : each time you open a new page on a web site, goes two pages back.

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ChristinaRaibert

ChristinaRaibert

Posts : 198
Join date : 2014-03-07

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 6:12 pm

Broken One Virus: disables your Firewall with an alert window that calls it a 'shiny trap' that will take you to suffocating, waterless skies.

Ardan Djarum Virus: sets the real-time clock of your computer to display a random M/D/Y combination from the future, and fries your system if you try to visit sites that have anything to do with elves (or even type the word "elf" in any other context, as in "self-help"). Meanwhile, it installs in your system the Plague Spawn Virus.

Plague Spawn Virus: destroys your sound and video cards software a little bit at a time. No matter how many times you try to remove it or install new updates - it always keeps coming back.

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Ba_hea10
Thanks to my dearest friend Embala for the signature! Healing currents, indeed... I love you
Over-the-moon Sunstream and EQ Viruses Blinki12 'shipper
"She answered his faraway, telepathic call, introducing him to her watery domain. Her longings fulfilled, she knows he will soon go by another name on this world... and on many others. Will she go with him?"
Sunstream and Brill, 1999 "Lovemates" Calendar
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TrollHammer

TrollHammer

Posts : 649
Join date : 2012-07-31
Location : O'er Der.....

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 6:37 pm

@PCoquelin wrote:
Go-Back virus : each time you open a new page on a web site, goes two pages back.

Ha ha ha! Nice!

Tier Trojan: starts bringing animal themed viruses to your system. It asserts control over these viruses but doesnt do much with them until you install a version of Ember.
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Embala

Embala

Capricorn Pig
Posts : 11676
Join date : 2012-06-24
Age : 60
Location : Germany

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 8:50 pm

Guess I',m allowed to quote Redhead Ember and repost this Wink

Redhed Ember said:
The Embala Virus: Uses whatever pictures you have on your computer to make collages as backgrounds to whatever you write. Try do remove them and your system fails!

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EQ Viruses Lifebr10
Indem du etwas tust, das dir oder jemand anderem gefällt, erschaffst du bereits einen Wert.
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ChristinaRaibert

ChristinaRaibert

Posts : 198
Join date : 2014-03-07

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 8:56 pm

@Embala wrote:
Guess I',m allowed to quote Redhead Ember and repost this Wink

Redhed Ember said:
The Embala Virus: Uses whatever pictures you have on your computer to make collages as backgrounds to whatever you write. Try do remove them and your system fails!

Who could want to remove them? Very Happy

___________________________________________________
EQ Viruses Ba_hea10
Thanks to my dearest friend Embala for the signature! Healing currents, indeed... I love you
Over-the-moon Sunstream and EQ Viruses Blinki12 'shipper
"She answered his faraway, telepathic call, introducing him to her watery domain. Her longings fulfilled, she knows he will soon go by another name on this world... and on many others. Will she go with him?"
Sunstream and Brill, 1999 "Lovemates" Calendar
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Embala

Embala

Capricorn Pig
Posts : 11676
Join date : 2012-06-24
Age : 60
Location : Germany

EQ Viruses Empty
PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 9:23 pm

XD ... someone comes to mind ...


*pouts* I want to bring back all of them! ... for now this will work:
http://elfquest.com/forums/discussion/3166/eq-virus
.

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EQ Viruses Lifebr10
Indem du etwas tust, das dir oder jemand anderem gefällt, erschaffst du bereits einen Wert.
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Lunakat

Lunakat

Posts : 2792
Join date : 2014-03-15
Location : On a rooftop, contemplating the moon

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyMon Apr 13, 2015 11:07 pm

The Ember virus. Your applications stall and crash one by one... but the Ember virus will not allow you to go online and contact any anyone for tech support!

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afro flower afro 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnbYyTlz1Tw
TrollHammer

TrollHammer

Posts : 649
Join date : 2012-07-31
Location : O'er Der.....

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptyTue Apr 14, 2015 12:00 pm

Where IS Redhead Ember anyway?

Djin Virus: amasses a huge database of information and controls what you can do with it, deleting files accirding to its own whims. Occasionally, if the Two edge virus is also infecting your system, it will start running the printer, marking each page down the middle as thoigh a saw blade had gone through it, ruining all the paper you had loaded. The only way to get rid of the Djin Virus is to load all Elf and wolfrider viruses and Shuna v0.5 (the runaway variant) all installed at the same time. The hard part is if Winnie 5.6 is installed, each elf or wolfrider virus will be deleted individually as you install them.
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Trollbabe

Trollbabe

Posts : 804
Join date : 2015-03-01
Location : In a cavern, in a canyon, excavating for a mine

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptySun May 03, 2015 8:32 pm

Suntoucher Virus: Gives highly accurate weather forecasts, but disables your monitor.

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EQ Viruses Ba_tro10
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Redhead Ember

Redhead Ember

Aries Dragon
Posts : 4260
Join date : 2015-04-17
Age : 32
Location : Right here

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PostSubject: Re: EQ Viruses   EQ Viruses EmptySat Feb 06, 2016 11:13 am

How come I never noticed this before?
Or... maybe I did... Suntop Uncomfortable
On the Old Scroll...

To answer your question, TrollHammer; I joined three days later.


The Filcher Virus: Just straight up steals your stuff!

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Come play the Who Am I game! Twisted Evil
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