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 Things you wouldn't dare say out loud

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Redhead Ember

Redhead Ember

Aries Dragon
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyFri May 27, 2016 12:25 pm

I love this forum.
I was as saddened/shock as the rest of you when the Old Scroll was suddenly frozen.
But honestly... sometimes I feel like I missed an important meeting here. The meeting where it was agreed that Final Quest is horrible, and everything Wendy says should be criticised (sp?) like crazy.

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Outlier

Outlier

Posts : 320
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyFri May 27, 2016 4:26 pm

And I apologize, as i'm sure my actions are contributing to how you are feeling. I really struggled with bring the stuff going on here, but I was really just flabbergasted at what I saw, and here is the only place where I could really talk about and kind of process it.

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IceTooth

IceTooth

Scorpio Tiger
Posts : 215
Join date : 2016-03-26
Age : 45

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 2:40 am

When you disappear and won't talk to me, there's no way I can express how I'm feeling. Things were going so well....so well that for the first time since those early days, my doubts regarding our future together were gone. Gone. I had a smile that wouldn't leave my face...a spring in my step...life felt so very positive and good. And then...like a broken record, you retreated into your self doubt, worries and the past that you seem unable to let go of.

This is the last dance for me. I'm just about done...willing to work on this a little more because of the love I feel for you...but if this trend continues...I will be gone from your life, for good.

Why can't you see what is right here in front of you...why can't you let go of the past? Running and hiding will not help you heal, regardless of what happens between us...even if our paths do part, I hope that you will find whatever it is you need.

You would think that after a lifetime of unhealthy relationships, having a healthy, positive one would be something you'd embrace. Instead, you run and can't seem to accept that someone really and truly cares for you. But a flame that burns alone will eventually turn to smoke and fade into the sky...and this seems to be what is happening to me...especially when you seem to forget that I even exist.
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Redhead Ember

Redhead Ember

Aries Dragon
Posts : 4220
Join date : 2015-04-17
Age : 32
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 3:55 am

@Outlier wrote:
And I apologize, as i'm sure my actions are contributing to how you are feeling. I really struggled with bring the stuff going on here, but I was really just flabbergasted at what I saw, and here is the only place where I could really talk about and kind of process it.

No worries. Been feeling like this for a while.
Sure, Wendy overreacted with that post (mostly by posting it) but sometimes it feels like there's a constant underlying sense of Well, we all agree that Final Quest sucks, don't we? around here. Together with a lot of negativity directed towards the FB group, it's as if we - yes we, I'm part of that group - are authomatically stupid because we love Final Quest.

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Nibblet

Nibblet

Pisces Dragon
Posts : 917
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Age : 44
Location : Behind the curtains

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 2:49 pm

That is probably because this is one of the only places you *can* say you don't like it without being torn to shreds for having a different opinion to the one they want you to have. Personally, I neither love nor hate it because I haven't read it. My local Forbidden Planet stopped stocking it because they were losing money on stocking it. I wad the only person buying it and stocking it for one single person isn't financially viable! Stupid shipping costs and times made it not worth my effort or money.

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Sifra

Sifra

Pisces Goat
Posts : 683
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Age : 41

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 3:25 pm

Icetooth: that sounds like a draining situation!

Redhead: you are certainly not stupid for loving the Final Quest! I don't like everything about it, but overall I like it enough to continue reading it. I can understand that you don't like all the negativity when you don't feel the same way.

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Embala

Embala

Capricorn Pig
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 5:06 pm

I see that you feel uncomfortable and pretty alone for quite a while, Redhead. I admire how you keep telling that you LOVE the Final Quest and I'm thankful for it. *hug*
I see others who express both pros and cons about the Final Quest and I welcome the balance.

I see those who rant, utter constructive critisism or express their disappointment. I feel the sadness in it, a loss that hurts. I'm glad those tribemates are here ... that they have found a place where they can tell their mind without being bitten away by the pack. Like Nibblet pointed out - here seems to be the only place (or one of few) to do so.
And - they can do so without hurting WP's feelings or irritating RP. The creators love their lifework probably more than "just a fictional story and artwork" and are fiercely protrective about it beyond reason. Strong emotions can bring out the best and the qorst. Being human is the opposite of being perfect - it includes fail.

Emotions. Logic. Sense and sensitivity. I know about it - have my own share of struggle between those two poles. Like Nibblet I neither love nor hate "The Final Quest" as a whole. I definitely don't hate it. I don't love it the way I love the first three story arcs.
There's a lot I dislike, a lot I have a hard time to understand and things I've stopped thinking about. All was discussed more than once in the dedicated thread. Often it was expressed much better than I could do it - clearer and to the point. Often it was pointed out by people who have practical experiance with the matter and know what they are talking about. Nothing I could add there, no use to repeat. All is said.

There are things I like. Scenes and pictures I love. Moments I love even when I strongly dislike the context. I wish I could notice them more conciously, wish I'd have the energy and enthusiasm to point them out. Something died during those last years on the SoC. Words are so much harder now  - even harder than at the time when I was a newbie. I have loving friends and supporting tribemates here but self-doubts and insecurity are hard to fight.

I can hardly express myself with words, can rarely tell what I like about the Final Quest. So what remains ...
My last Advent calenders were featuring the Final Quest. Other collages centered on scenes from the Final Quest. I cannot be creative with things I don't like. One reason why I've decided not to choose a job in the creative or artistic field. What I like about the Final Quest I tell in pictures.

I still love EQ and I like the Final Quest enough to follow it fo the end ... and more. Yet - there's a good chance I'll never tell so during a discussion. Or I will - and surprise myself.

(edit because my typos are horrible)

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Last edited by Embala on Sat May 28, 2016 11:51 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Embala

Embala

Capricorn Pig
Posts : 11526
Join date : 2012-06-24
Age : 60
Location : Germany

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 5:16 pm

So sorry you are caught in such draining and hurtful situation, Icetooth. Both of you.

Self doubt is a demon. It's hard to fight by oneself. Almost impossible to fight by someone else. I wish you luck for a positive healthy relationship with the woman you love. I hope she will see what you offer ... and be able to accept and trust in it. However it will turn out I wish you peace, Icetooth.

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Lunakat

Lunakat

Posts : 2792
Join date : 2014-03-15
Location : On a rooftop, contemplating the moon

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 9:37 pm

There's nothing wrong with liking Final Quest. There are aspects of it I like too.

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Bluetree

Bluetree

Posts : 154
Join date : 2016-03-23

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat May 28, 2016 10:09 pm

@Embala wrote:
{...} I see others who express both pro and cons about the Final quest and I welcome the balance.

I see those you rant, upper constructive critisism or express their disappointment. I feel the sadness in it, a loss that hurts. I'm glad those tribemates are here ... that they have found a place where they can tell their mind without being bitten away by the pack. Like Nibblet pointed out - here seems to be the only place (or of of few) to do so.
{...}

This is why I was so happy to find this site. EQ, despite its longevity, isn't widely-known, and like many others, I don't know anyone IRL besides myself who is a fan.

That said... if all I wanted to do was join the Pini Sycophant Delegation, that's easily-enough done via the FB group and page. There are just two eensy-weensy little problems with taking that road:
1) I am not fluent in Blatant Suck-Up, even when I adore a thing or person. That kind of behavior is offensive, and is ultimately a disservice to the thing or person.
2) I had turned away from EQ for quite a few years because it was painful to see the elements of it that I love being so thoroughly disregarded by other artists. When I discovered that a Wendy-drawn series was in progress, I kvelled like a four-year-old on a sugar high... and then eventually discovered that I'd come back to a comic newly loaded with copypasta, with W&R acting more and more like petulant snowflakes on social media! Dafuq?

So while I still love EQ, I am also pissed. I can't begin to relate what a relief it is to have found a group of people who similarly love EQ and are sometimes pissed! To have legitimate grumps about something and be able to find fellowship only among frantically bleating lackeys is a special kind of hell (like a left-winger being airdropped into the middle of a Trump rally).

It doesn't seem like anyone's here just to be negative, from what I can tell. That vibe might feel a bit concentrated at times, since this is apparently the one place on the internet (possibly even the world) where people can speak freely about the brilliant, imperfect comic that brought us all together.
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Redhead Ember

Redhead Ember

Aries Dragon
Posts : 4220
Join date : 2015-04-17
Age : 32
Location : Right here

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySun May 29, 2016 3:53 pm

I don't know you... but please, please pull through!
This sport has lost too many already. Leetah Crying

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Kindredsoul

Kindredsoul

Posts : 1239
Join date : 2012-06-24

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySun May 29, 2016 7:08 pm

I just wanted to add that I'm not being snubbish by not joining in any FQ convos anymore because keeping quiet seemed to be the best thing to do Embarassed But I'm super relieved that everyone feels that they can speak freely here, no matter their opinions of it I love you

*sends hugs to all*

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Lunakat

Lunakat

Posts : 2792
Join date : 2014-03-15
Location : On a rooftop, contemplating the moon

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySun May 29, 2016 7:26 pm

I also think that with all the online adoration the Pinis are sounding pretty smug lately. Did anyone catch Wendy calling out the mother of a child dying of cancer because the woman private messaged her on Facebook to ask if she would answe some questions for her daughter's homework? There are ways to respond to that that are kind, yet still convey that the inquiry is inappropriate. Instead she public ally humiliated the woman on The Elfquest Facebook group by posting her message and ridiculing it. A friend showed me the link.

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Lunakat

Lunakat

Posts : 2792
Join date : 2014-03-15
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySun May 29, 2016 7:30 pm

Like- that's just not cool, imo.

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Kindredsoul

Kindredsoul

Posts : 1239
Join date : 2012-06-24

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySun May 29, 2016 7:37 pm

Rant Away thread Like

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Outlier

Outlier

Posts : 320
Join date : 2015-04-08

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyFri Jun 03, 2016 8:58 pm

"I had a bad day."

impatiently"We'll, I had a bad day, too."

Why do you always do that? Is it just too much to ask for a little sympathy and understanding? Is it asking too much to focus on me for just a minute?

And what'she worse is knowing what's coming is the lecture about how badly i'm treating you.

And, no, I do not want to give up my Sunday and 8 hours of vacation time to go spend the day listening to lectures just because they are tangentially related to my job. I get enough at work already and with all the Dr appointments I have to go to, I barely have any usable vacation time as it is.

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Embala

Embala

Capricorn Pig
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyFri Jun 03, 2016 9:04 pm

Hug

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Outlier

Outlier

Posts : 320
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyFri Jun 03, 2016 9:07 pm

Thanks, I need that from someone today.

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Stormcatcher

Stormcatcher

Libra Tiger
Posts : 691
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyFri Jun 03, 2016 9:11 pm

have another Hug

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Outlier

Outlier

Posts : 320
Join date : 2015-04-08

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptySat Jun 04, 2016 10:19 am

more warm fuzzy recharge!

Hammy

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Startear

Startear

Aquarius Goat
Posts : 482
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyTue Jun 07, 2016 6:30 pm

I... I will probably talk about this in Al-Anon tomorrow. But I guess I need to talk about it NOW too. Get it off my chest. So. Here goes.

I'm having a hard time extinguishing when my feelings are just or when they go over into a self pity fest. I get angry a lot, about the past, the present, whenever I interact with family members. And over the years, even before going to Al-Anon I started getting angry because I realized that a lot of what my family did was wrong. Even if we were all sick with what alcoholism brings. But at the same time, there was a lot of fucked up things that happened. Like assault, and medical neglect.

And I know that I need to talk about things, and I do! But where is the line between a self pity party or having to talk about something? When do I know when to stop and let go or being rightly angry over things that happened in the past? And why am I so attached to the idea of "winning?"

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Embala

Embala

Capricorn Pig
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyTue Jun 07, 2016 7:20 pm

Maybe ... sometimes it's your right to pity yourself. Sometimes there is no one else. No one else who knows how it hurt. *hugs* All good thoughts go with you, Startear.

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Kindredsoul

Kindredsoul

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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyTue Jun 07, 2016 10:35 pm

If anyone ever tells/accuses you of having a pity party over the abuse you've suffered, they are either....

A: The type of person who's actually jealous because *they* are attention whores who see you as a threat to their own attention seeking

B: A heartless f&%kturd

In my opinion, a "pity party" is when someone uses their pain and suffering to manipulate others in order to get what they want, whether it be attention or something else. I had a friend like that once. She made people feel so sorry for her "suffering" in order to obtain money.

You're obviously not crossing that "line", Startear.

As someone who has suffered tremendously by family, alcohol, and drugs (just to name a few), I can totally relate. As for knowing when to let go, or when to remain rightly angry, that's different for everyone hun.

For me, I haven't let go and I don't plan to, but that's what works for me. Therapy works for many, but it actually made me worse. I was more depressed walking out of a session than I was going in.  So I stopped going. My point is, healing is different for every individual... because every person's pain, and how it effects them, is different. Therefore, treatment and coping is different.

So don't waste time judging yourself, or worrying what others think of you, or how you are handling your healing process.

Just concern yourself on you, and healing in a way that works for you.

Hope that helps I love you I love you I love you

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Lunakat

Lunakat

Posts : 2792
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyWed Jun 08, 2016 2:41 am

Also...maybe you are grieving the healthy you that could have been... and the healthy family you could have had without these issues plaguing it.

That's okay. The stages of grief include anger, bargaining and self pity. In the end, there is acceptance. But you have to work your way there.

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Nibblet

Nibblet

Pisces Dragon
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PostSubject: Re: Things you wouldn't dare say out loud   Things you wouldn't dare say out loud - Page 8 EmptyWed Jun 08, 2016 2:27 pm

I agree with everything they said *points up*

@Kindredsoul wrote:

In my opinion, a "pity party" is when someone uses their pain and suffering to manipulate others in order to get what they want, whether it be attention or something else. I had a friend like that once. She made people feel so sorry for her "suffering" in order to obtain money.

I also knew someone who did this. She managed to con people into buying her a new laptop so she could "change her circumstances". Years later she's still at it with the same sob story. Some people are just disgusting human beings (had to edit the rest of that comment out for reasons of decency).

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