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Zadzi

Zadzi

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 10, 2015 8:28 pm

Are Maleen and Rayek going to have more going on? I really like that you had Maleen in your story, I forgot to tell you that, Kathleen! Maleen is one of my favorite peripheral characters (would you even call her that? I don't know.)...


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kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 10, 2015 8:34 pm

@TrollHammer wrote:
I have been trying to figure out what to say about this story since shortly after I started reading it. Its an amazing piece of writing, capturing the essence of the characters and the world of two moons.  It feels natural: this would be what would probably happen if a couple of natural events changed here and there.  The detail is full and not overwhelming, and I could see the story play out in my mind's eye well, flowing without jumping around inexplicably.

The story itself is nice to follow, reminding me of characters that were in the background of the original story to the point I dont recall noticing them, but many were brought to life in this version (one was literally brought to life, Osek, and if you write more it will be interesting to see how you develop his character and give him personality, since he is only referred to in the original series). The wolves in this story are more alive than in the comic: I could actually feel them and empathize with them much more than in the OQ (where they seemed more like personalized vehicles than kin to the wolfriders or decendants of Timmorn, and this mostly has to do with how Leetah was handled. Whereas Cutter is the focal character in OQ, Leetah takes the spotlight here in a true reversal of things.

I also like how the events were mirrored without being so glaringly done so.  It took me a moment to reread the scene with the plains-cat attack to really figure out what was going on (slight glitch, but considering the character's POV there isnt much better way of doing this), but the event doesnt read like a mirroring ("so and so does this and that happens" == "counterpart does same thing and has same thing happen"). It stands on its own, like the rest of this story. Should someone who knows little to nothing about EQ stumble on this, they should still be pulled into the story without wondering what's going on, for the most part, at least not much more so than the characters in the story.

Thank you for sharing this, it was a delight!

Thanks!

Yeah, I didn't want to follow the original exactly. Tbh, I find those stories boring. I wanted to explore a parellel, but not a carbon copy. And I wanted to focus on Leetah in particular because she's actually a character I find difficult to understand, and she certainly deserves my attention and understanding.

I have more with Osek in the future, but he's not a focal character, yet.

The sabre tooth cat attack was a hard one to write. It's from Dewshine's POV, so it was a matter of her being completely unaware of what was happening. Tbh, the confusion was deliberate. In moments she goes from having a body, to being completely aware of everything at all times, so I wanted a sense of disorientation and abruptness.
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kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 10, 2015 8:38 pm

@Startear wrote:
I didn't really feel that the grief over Shenshen was too subtle. I read it more as being overwhelmed with so much death and destruction, and how both Leetah and Rayek kept themselves so darn busy to not feel that.

I loved this story, Kathleen.

Lol, yeah, that was what I was going for. Oh well.

Thank you very much.
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kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 10, 2015 8:40 pm

@manga wrote:
I'm sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well, Kathleen. I hope you feel better soon.

It's asthma. I had a Lyme Disease scare last year, too, so I'm a little freaked, which isn't helping matters, lol. I'm much better now, an inhaler is a wonderful thing.
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kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 10, 2015 8:41 pm

@Embala wrote:
Be well soon, Kathleen. *sending good thoughts and well wishes*

CAN THEY GET RID OF ASTHMA, THO?

Thanks, Embala.
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kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 10, 2015 8:43 pm

@Zadzi wrote:
Are Maleen and Rayek going to have more going on? I really like that you had Maleen in your story, I forgot to tell you that, Kathleen! Maleen is one of my favorite peripheral characters (would you even call her that? I don't know.)...


Ah, no, they aren't. For now, at least. Rayek is, frankly, very emotionally immature, and Maleen finds herself in the position of translating regular elfin interaction to him and occasionally reminding him not to be a jerk.
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kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 10, 2015 9:23 pm

@manga wrote:
Well, there's havoc and there's havoc, Kathleen.  Rayek has had a deep desire for children for a long time. She's not his child but she is his sister. I can't imagine him being unaffected. Rayek Devil  (Besides, what if she took Rayek's analytical bent and applied it to horticulture? They might even discover irrigation!)

It'll be interesting to see Leetha's response to Rayah and Rayek's relationship. Some teasing is definitely in order! Think she'll teach Rayah to call him "Rawa?" Wink

I think Rayek's desire for a child stems more from his ego than an actual fatherly feeling. When he considers that the twins might have been his, he bases it on how their eyes and hair might have been more similar to him, on the feeling that he would have "won" Leetah, had she Recognized him. Later, with Kahvi, although he's more realistic, again his concern seems to fly around the feeling of ownership over the child. When Leetah and Cutter express concerns over his desire to take Suntop, these are not unfair assessments of his personality, they're real issues that Rayek's is unable to confront within himself. Of course, because they needed a villain, the Pinis then never bothered to actually confront them, and the general idea is dropped.

When you're a grown sibling to little kids, it's a weird feeling, for humans, at least, a combination of responsibility and relaxation(eg, talking my youngest brother into eating vegetables and not jumping on the couch, while still buying him ten kinds of candy before dropping him off with mom). For an elf, adult siblings to infants are common enough that it goes without mention, as evidenced by Dart and Chitter, Leetah and Shen Shen, etc. Rayek's relationship with Rayah is, in my mind, his first extended contact with a child, and certainly a responsibility, but because his ego isn't on the line, he's not so intensely motivated as he might be with a child of his own.

Oh, and while Rayah is intelligent, she's also not as, well, driven as Rayek, and not likely to be so innovative. Irrigation is going to have to come from somewhere else, I'm afraid.
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manga

manga

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 12:12 am

While I don't disagree with your assessment of Rayek's emotional maturity (here, have some emotional vitamins, Rayek (oh, and I want to see some of Maleen's "translation," I think that's spot on and I wish he'd had someone like that in canon)), I disagree that his desire for children was ALL about his ego. Remember how he searched for the spirit of the "dead" baby, even though he thought it wasn't his.

You know, at this point of the story, Rayek's birth family has been separate for centuries. I'll be interested to see if and how you address that.
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kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 2:03 am

I don't deny that in some ways his desire to be a father was genuine. I just happen to think it was MORE motivated by ego.

Oh, man. Rayek has issues, but I think the thing about his family is that the rift is mostly personality clashes. Jarrah and Ingen did nothing wrong in raising him. Tbh, I do think they could have been more supportive of his interests and desires, BUT it's always important to understand that if you don't work, in most agrarian societies, you don't eat. Jarrah and Ingen didn't have time to pamper Rayek, because they were too concerned with keeping him alive. There was a famine.

People don't parent well under pressure. I can see that in my neighbourhood alone, where parents who are desperate to keep their children from becoming involved in crime(one of our local industries) cause emotional damage. Not because they don't love their kids, but because the fight to keep that child alive supersedes their emotional needs.
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manga

manga

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 12:53 pm

See, I can't agree. For a village of 40-something adults to allow themselves to remain dependent on a child only a decade old is so wrong, I find it unfathomable. And for his parents to do nothing while he moves out - again, he's barely a decade old to a people who called 700-year old Treestrump a "stripling" - it's just incomprehensible to me.

There was a famine. There was stress. I don't say they were completely at fault. But I feel they did many things wrong in raising him.

And if you want to continue discussing this, we can do it in PM so we don't turn your lovely story thread into yet another dissection of Rayek. Smile
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Lunakat

Lunakat

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 2:11 pm

Manga--- Rayek was not an abused child. His parents did nothing abusive. They didn't hit him. They didn't yell at him. They didn't insult him. They didn't starve him or abandon him. They fed him, clothed him, sheltered him, and worked to care for him. When he misbehaved, they gently reprimanded him. When he wanted something he couldn't get-- they explained why he couldn't have it (as opposed to saying "because I said so" or slapping him for talking back). And when he was good at something, they praised him. When he was hurt, they took care of him.

The worst thing they did was not play with him enough or give him all the attention he wanted.

That story isn't about how Rayek was abused as a kid. It's about how his personality developed. He was the only child in the village-- this made him lonely and self focused-- which lead to him being aloof and self centered. He grew up during a time of famine-- hence, he couldn't get everything he wanted when he wanted it. This led to him being self driven-- which led to him being ambitious. He enjoyed praise. This led to constant striving and a need for outside affirmation and adulation. He was the center of attention for a while due to his magic. This caused him to be egocentric. He had a pride issue even as a kid-- which was the reason he chose to hide his magic-- which led to a superiority complex later on. He hurt his arm doing something dangerous-- and that caused him to feel insecure-- which undermined his self assurance and made him incapable of handling criticism or rejection.

That's Rayek. Rayek reacted that way to those events because of who he was. Another character would have reacted differently.

Strogbow got reprimanded but didn't throw a temper tantrum over it. Skywise was an only kid and seemed lonely-- but he didn't get egocentric over it. Cutter got slapped by his dad when he wanted something he couldn't have-- but being told "no" didn't drive him in the same ways it drove Rayek. Pike would probably have told someone immediately if he started developing magic powers that helped him do what he wanted to do. All the Wolfriders hunted as kids. Cutter and Skywise ran around in a more dangerous environment with minimal supervision. Whatever.

The story isn't about how Rayek was neglected or abused. It was about how he became who he was.

The absolute worst thing his parents did was not play with him and not watch him all the time. But why would they? They lived in a safe, insulated village. And they had to work.

You know, there was a time in the United States where parents would just send kids outside to play? And the kids would do stuff. It was considered normal. Did you ever see the movie "Stand by me?" All of those kids took off into the woods, unsupervised, on a camping trip. How many of them were victims of abuse or neglect? One. Because his dad put a cigarette out on him. Not because he let him go off on his own.

And yeah, the village let him hunt. Well, he was good at it and he liked it. And they actually needed the food. I guess that's the worst thing they did to him collectively. They let him engage in a semi-dangerus activity that he apparently loved, and thanked and praised him for it, because it helped provide food for everyone.

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Lunakat

Lunakat

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 2:31 pm

Look- here are kids that did things kids are not supposed to do. It happens:

This girl is an eleven year old rock climber:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P5akoQ_eNI

This little boy ran marathons children aren't suppose to be able to run when he was eight:
http://www.jsonline.com/sports/10-year-old-boys-distance-running-feats-raise-questions-b99287212z1-262465511.html

This kid spent all his play time studying:
http://college.usatoday.com/2015/05/22/11-year-old-graduates-college-with-3-degrees/

Some guy let his nine year old learn karate:
http://www.quora.com/Martial-Arts/What-does-it-mean-for-a-child-under-10-years-old-to-earn-a-black-belt

http://www.eaglenewsonline.com/news/2013/jun/06/local-10-year-old-achieves-first-degree-black-belt/

Some little girl sailed around the world alone
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Dekker

Cheerleading is the most dangerous sport for children:
https://www.haughn.com/news/6-most-dangerous-sports-kids

Now here is some hardcore child labor:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/12/18/us-afghanistan-children-labour-idUSTRE6BH0GN20101218

Here's child labor and child abuse:
http://www.bbc.com/news/business-25947984


There's a difference. There is a difference between being a prodigy and seeking out a challenge on your own-- and being forced into it by circumstance or abuse. Rayek was never forced into anything. He wasn't even forced to do the kind of work everyone else was doing. They just asked him to be grateful for his food. He chose to hunt, chose to challenge himself. He was a prodigy- he had some issues-- but he wasn't an abused or neglected kid. (Neither was Cutter, btw. He just got spanked. Spanked and beaten are also two different things.)

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Zadzi

Zadzi

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 2:57 pm

I see the Rayek debate is still going! I remember manga vehemently defending Rayek (as I always have) on the other forum before it all turned to hell and got shut down (the forum, I mean, not this discussion Very Happy ).

I was always a Rayek supporter and fan because I've found him a visionary. He was misunderstood in how different he was and culturally speaking, the Wolfriders are much more different in their whole pack mentality.  Even Sun Villagers too were that way... Rayek's parents did nothing 'wrong' but they were pretty out of their depth with that kid. It's a good thing he got mentored by Savah. I do also feel he is ego driven but I see it more in terms of ambition and, again, being a visionary.

Still, I don't think him having a kid would be the best course of action for Rayek's character development...I think he wants a child because he wants to be a teacher. I always felt Rayek's ultimate redemption arc is his becoming a mentor eventually. It  would fulfill a deep need. He would pass along the wisdom he was handed down from Savah, and later, Ekuar.

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Zadzi

Zadzi

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 3:23 pm

...And this is going to sound pretty out there, but I'm going to put it out there anyway:

I studied astrology for years, just for fun, and yet also on a more esoteric level. I use a lot of what I learned when I read and also for my own and character studies when I do my own writing. I find myself assigning certain planetary attributes  to certain characters, when I find them connecting in themes.
Rayek always resonated with the planet Saturn for me, character-wise, and lesson-wise.
Saturn rules / represents:
- Time / limitations
- Teaching / mentorship /.... The Taskmaster (that's literally his title)
- Structures and foundations - anything from bones and teeth, to buildings and rocks (When I later read how Rayek's name meant chid of the rocks, it kind of sealed the deal for me)
- Any type of order of things, as they are 'supposed' to be
- Age. Usually it rules the elders.

Anyone with heavy Saturn in their chart will, after very, very heavy trial and tribulation, be moved toward the role of teacher or mentor. They will be speaking from experience and the kind of wisdom which isn't bitter but is like rock that's been worn smooth by water and time. These 'people' repeatedly carry very heavy burdens and humor is rare for them, except totally deadpan humor. Maybe one day, Rayek can laugh at himself and actually be a mentor. I feel that would be his ultimate zenith, his true north.

To get even more esoteric on your asses, Saturn rules not just Capricorn but is also the traditional co-ruler of Aquarius, along with Uranus. That means the revolutionary, the visionary, the one that's eternally babbling on about going to other worlds, wondering about things like time travel. And the stars. I always saw Skywise as the quintessential Uranian Aquarian and thought he and Rayek got along a bit better due to their respective Aquarian co-rulers.

I realize this is all probably seeming very, very obscure, and I am sorry if it sounds kind of weird and makes no sense. It's just the way my mind works a lot of the time when I read and re-read characters. I see archetypes but then I find the archetypes echoed back in the planets, which is, I suppose, only fitting.

I'm really sorry that this is diverting from Kathleen's amazing story...I felt it was somehow connected since we're talking about characters within the story in general. I really do not want to derail the convo and I am really sorry if this is what's happened.

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kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 5:28 pm

Okay, well, we've all had our say, and i think, as usual, we're going to have to agree to disagree on the matter. Otherwise we'd better take this discussion to Rayek's thread and work through it there.
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Lunakat

Lunakat

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 6:44 pm

@Kathleen. Okay. Last thing I wanted to say though is that I completely agree with this entire statement:

@Zadzi wrote:

I was always a Rayek supporter and fan because I've found him a visionary. He was misunderstood in how different he was and culturally speaking, the Wolfriders are much more different in their whole pack mentality.  Even Sun Villagers too were that way... Rayek's parents did nothing 'wrong' but they were pretty out of their depth with that kid. It's a good thing he got mentored by Savah. I do also feel he is ego driven but I see it more in terms of ambition and, again, being a visionary.

Still, I don't think him having a kid would be the best course of action for Rayek's character development...I think he wants a child because he wants to be a teacher. I always felt Rayek's ultimate redemption arc is his becoming a mentor eventually. It  would fulfill a deep need. He would pass along the wisdom he was handed down from Savah, and later, Ekuar.

I think saying that his parents were "out of their depth" is about as close to a compromise that I think we can all agree on as we are going to get! (Don't be too upset at me, Manga! I like you! cathat )

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kathleen3.0

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 6:54 pm

The stuff I want to say about Rayek is unprintable on this forum tbh, and it starts with lazy writing and ends with racial bias, so tbh, we gotta stop.

I think we can all agree that Rayek is interesting. And he does play a big part in the next story.
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Zadzi

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyFri Sep 11, 2015 7:21 pm

@kathleen3.0 wrote:

I think we can all agree that Rayek is interesting. And he does play a big part in the next story.

Yay! That's all the news I needed ! Totally looking forward to it ! bounce bounce bounce bounce

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manga

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyTue Sep 15, 2015 1:08 pm

@kathleen3.0 wrote:
I think we can all agree that Rayek is interesting. And he does play a big part in the next story.

*Sets up camp, hands a marshmallow to Zadzi.*
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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 17, 2015 1:00 pm

Okay, it's nowhere near finished. A huge part of what I have so far is slice of life stuff, but here's some excerpts.

Shen Shen's first instinct was to stab at them. It was clear, from their round ears and small eyes, what they were. Humans, the same that had driven Savah and the Ancestors from their little home in the Green Growing Place. They would as soon eat an elf as look at her.
But they were a maid and a lad. No, man and woman, and the woman's belly was swollen with child. She was caught up in the man's arms, and crying out.
Shen Shen made her choice in a moment.
“Hot water, Osek,” she commanded. “And shape us a stool, will you?”
She urged the humans in with signs as she did so. They entered, the man with a quiet skepticism that disappeared as she popped a bowl of soup into his hands, and sat the woman down.
“Shen Shen,” she pushed herself into the woman's field of view, and smiled as broadly as she could. “Shen Shen.”
The woman, sweat pouring down her face, smiled, and tapped her own chest.
“Naksima.”
“Well, Naksima,” Shen Shen pulled the woman's leather skirt up. “Let's see.”
The baby was coming, but not too quickly. She would have time, then.
“Boil that water,” she ordered, tersely, washing her hands. “And give me wet cloths.”
The man stood up, asking questions with words that Shen Shen didn't understand, but in a tone that made her roll her eyes.
“Fire,” she took the man's arm, and made motions to the fire. “Must be BIG. Understand?”
It took a few minutes, but he soon had the idea, and was out searching for wood. Naksima was laughing when Shen Shen returned to her, and they shared a look that needed no translation.
It took all night. The man, Amrok, bumped his head once, and Osek reshaped the cieling. Shen Shen had to nurse Ahleki once, and the zwoot tried to poke her head in to see what was going on.
Naksima gave birth near dawn, a healthy boy, already as big as Ahleki. The afterbirth passed in moments, and at Naksima's consent, Osek put it in the dirt.
Amrok brought in blankets of hide and fur, and stared in wonder at his mate and son, long after Naksima fell asleep. He wiped at his eyes, and looked so much like every father Shen Shen had ever had to shove out of a hut that she wanted to cry, too.
They all fell asleep not long after the birth. Elf, or human, it hardly seemed to matter, anymore. There was new life and exhaustion.


And Rayek and Maleen...

Maleen was his mother's cousin, and Rayek noted, sitting beside her, that they had the same long black hair, and heart-shaped face. Hers was meditative now.
“You weren't fair to Zhantee,” she said, after a few minutes of silence.
He winced. “I know.”
“Do you?” She asked. “Zhantee worships you. More than anyone else in the village. He's always been too shy to even speak to you, the great Rayek, the Hunter, the magic user.”
“I'll apologize to him,” he assured her.
She sat up, grimacing in pain, and held up the end to her ribbon shirt, where it had been torn by the beast.
“Rayek, can you sew this back together?”
“Yes,” he answered slowly. Her wounds hadn't looked that bad, was she sick from loss of blood?
“So, when you do, will it be as if it never was torn.” She held the pieces together. “Is that it?”
“No,” he ran a hand over her forehead. Hot, but Maleen tended to run that way.
Maleen pulled his hand away from her face, and looked into his eyes. “Words are like those claws, Rayek. They tear holes. You can mend them, but the stitches show where the holes were. That can never be changed. Do you understand me?”
“I told you I was sorry,” he grumbled, feeling as if he were a child, being scolded for shirking chores.
“You have always been special,” Maleen sighed, looking to the beast. “Just as Zhantee and I have always been ordinary. Being special, magical, a hunter, it's made people give way to you. Even when they probably shouldn't.”


Strongbow and Rayek, I don't know.

Rayek had friends, to his utter shock. Not just friendly acquaintances, but friends, who came to him for advice, offered their own, who understood him, and who he understood in return. Not just hunters, now, either, but Ahnshen, and Ahdri, even little Shushen.
It was as if he had been welcomed in from the cold to a friendly fire, only the fire had been there all along.
**I don't see why you called me out here if all you plan on doing is staring at the grass.**
Rayek closed his eyes.
Strongbow. Was not a friend. Wasn't truly more than an acquaintance, but his ability to send was the best that Rayek, who hadn't ever sent until he met the other elf, had ever seen.
He had the feeling that Strongbow didn't like the village, or anyone in it. His lifemate, the maker of the leather clothes that the Wolfriders wore, had struck up a kinship with Ahnshen, though, and Ahnshen's little brother Shushen and the boy, Dart, were inseperable. Strongbow and Rayek had happened to be going the same direction, which was why Rayek had asked him out here, both for his marksmanship, and his powers.
**You look at one patch of grass, you've seen all of it,** Strongbow continued, rubbing at his bow discontentedly. **Why did you even ask me out here?**
“I told you,” Rayek said, trying to be patient. Maybe if he pretended he was speaking with Shushen. “I want to test the range of this “Sending”.”
**Could have done that at the Holt. Or your village, Moonshade and Dart have a liking for it. Don't know why.** Strongbow looked suspiciously as if he were pouting. **Wouldn't even be here if they hadn't wanted to visit Cutter and Treestump.**


The human view point in the Cherish-verse.

He and Shen Shen, and Ahleki, really, were such odd, almost ugly little creatures, with eyes like bugs and ears like bats. Really, they looked almost childlike one moment, then unearthly the next. If not for their kindness and gentle ways, one might have been afraid of them.
“Is the little healer alright, sister?” B'rak asked.
“She is and she isn't,” Naksima sighed. “She almost never weeps before others, but I have often heard her cry at night.”
B'rak looked at Osek, and shook his head.
“I would think, one missing leg, that would be an accident.” His face grew sorrowful and grim. “But all the pieces taken from the elder, that is something else.”
“I don't think they're from the same nation, chief-brother,” Amrok commented. “From their clothes, their skin, they seem very different.”
“Are they wife and husband?” B'rak asked. “He seems so much older than she.”
“They aren't,” Naksima began to nurse the baby. “She treats him like an elderly father, more than anything.”


The Sun Folk see their first snow.

Maleen woke up shivering, and huddled closer to Ruffel for a moment.
“Did you forget to bank the fire?” Ruffel whined. “It's freezing!”
Maleen poked her head out of the blanket and eyed the stove, then sighed, and went to open the small door, sliding it over to look inside. Little red coals glowed brightly in the ashes, and she built it up before jumping back into bed.
“It's still dark,” Ruffel murmured.
“I'm so cold,” Maleen moaned, and curled up tighter. “Don't let's wake up-”
“Maleen, Ruffel!” A burst of cold air preceded Vurdah's entry into their hut. “Come outside, quickly!”
Maleen sighed, and rolled over. Ruffel laughed, weakly, and began pulling on the many layers of clothing they'd begun to wear in the cold.
“Hurry, hurry!” Vurdah actually held out their coats and helped put them on, as if they were children.
“What is so exc-Oh.” Ruffel's laughter fell away in a hush of awe.
The outside was lightly coated in what almost looked like clouds, come down to rest on the walls and roofs. The stubbled remains of the gardens poked through the stuff, and it fell, in a soft, dancing way to a silence that was somehow more muffling than anything Maleen had ever heard.
“What is it?”
Maleen stooped and picked a handful up, only to have it melt in her fingers.
“It's water!” She exclaimed. “Frozen water.”
They knocked on doors, and shouted into windows. Picknose and Maggotty told them off, but Oddbit, fetching in a fox fur dress and bearskin boots, came out to flirt and play. Ahnshen passed out hand coverings that he and Moonshade had apparently been working on, “gloves” and “mittens”. Minyah and Darah put their heads together and made a hot breakfast of cured meats and bread and porridge. Even Savah, swathed in furs, with her head free, came out.
Treestump, Rainsong, and Woodlock laughed at their wonderment.
“It's just snow,” Rainsong told them, wrapping a fur blanket more tightly around Wing. “And enjoy it now, you'll be sick of it before long.”
Hot drinks were passed among them, and Treestump led the children in a complicated game that involved shaping the snow into balls and throwing them at each other. Before long, the grown ups had started playing as well, and it devolved into a free for all.
“Still wish you'd stayed asleep?” Vurdah teased them, as she rubbed snow into Ruffel's hair.
“No,” Maleen said, signaling for Rayek to dump his floating load of snow, so she could rescue her lovemate.


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manga

manga

Posts : 921
Join date : 2015-03-25

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 17, 2015 1:57 pm

I want to see Rayek and that snow fight SO MUCH. O.O
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Zadzi

Zadzi

Posts : 1375
Join date : 2015-07-11
Location : Always moving....

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptyThu Sep 17, 2015 2:07 pm

*Hands Manga more marshmallows* Very Happy

Kathleen, I think you have a real gift for pairing characters and making them have meaningful dialogue together to make them show what their soul purpose is, in some way. You know how to cut to the heart of each character and show them as they are to the reader. I love it. I love these story 'trailers' , and can't wait to read the next installments!

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Thank you for the beautiful banner, Embala  cheers

to cherish what remains  - Page 2 Ba_zad10
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kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

Posts : 411
Join date : 2015-03-26

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptySun Sep 20, 2015 2:23 am

goodness and mercy shall follow me 1: a table in the presence of mine enemies

The story of Shen Shen, the two tribes meeting, and how their neighbours see the Hoan G'Tay Sho.
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Lunakat

Lunakat

Posts : 2792
Join date : 2014-03-15
Location : On a rooftop, contemplating the moon

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptySun Sep 20, 2015 1:25 pm

Hey Kathleen! So glad you got your health under control.

I think you should keep writing the story the way you intended and not pay too much attention to us. It's good. I mean, yeah-- I mean, I think the comments are good feedback and all-- but you know us. Take us with any grains of salt you prefer. And take all the time you need-- don't feel pressured by any of us. Just take care of yourself-- and surprise us when we least expect!

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afro flower afro 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnbYyTlz1Tw
kathleen3.0

kathleen3.0

Posts : 411
Join date : 2015-03-26

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PostSubject: Re: to cherish what remains    to cherish what remains  - Page 2 EmptySun Sep 20, 2015 1:36 pm

Yep, yep, definitely under control. No asthma attacks here, yep.
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