What are you wondering now?

Embala wrote:

You know it was meant ironically. I'll consider your allergy next time I'm tempted to quote those rules, Shadowpath.

Somewhere there IS an inconsitency. As far as I remember Ekuar said the Trolls had sentenced him to starvation as punishment for his interference when Osek escaped. Starving over several centuries or millenia is not very likely. XD Either there is a massive inconsistency with OQ or this "tale of love and loss" is written in a way that makes it very hard for a foreign speaker to get the meaning.

Where does it say he was sentenced to starvation?

It's possible that they simply starved him for a while, and then started feeding him again. Or they gave him just enough food to ensure his survival, but never enough that he'd actually feel full.

Why not? *shrug*

As I said - too complicated. Too much jumping through look holes to get it straight. Or too mistakably written. It makes knots in my cerebral gyrus - NOT healthy.

I'd buy each interpretation or bending or retconing ... and put my own on top. XD

So he'd be too weak to even think about running away.

I'm wondering if Guttlekraw liked having half naked soldiers.
Like, they can make helmets.
And weapons.
And black, tight fitting pants.
But no real upper body armour?

The Timeless are bewildered.
Guttlekraw: Behold my army!

Timeless:...
Timeless: ...Are they supposed to be half naked?
Timeless: Do you need half an hour to find some armour. We can wait? =D

A way to show how tough they supposedly were?
Guttlecraw had the hots for half-naked soldiers?

*tsktsk* Girls! Everyone knows that Troll have very sensitive feet. And toes.

It's the toes they need to shield for obvious reasons! Now look at those boots. Questions?

Trolls are also somewhat clumsy, hense why they're wearing knee-pads.

XD

Embala wrote:

*tsktsk* Girls! Everyone knows that Troll have very sensitive feet. And toes.

It's the toes they need to shield for obvious reasons! Now look at those boots. Questions?

XD, that makes a weird amount of sense, Em.

Flam was specifically stated to have sensible feet.

I like the idea of a troll king with homoerotic tendencies

Miss Gillespie wrote:

I like the idea of a troll king with homoerotic tendencies

The the only real reason I can see for why they're half naked.
'Shouldn't we make more armour for our soldiers and guards?'
Guttlekraw: No no no...they'll do nicely like this.
'...Um...'
Guttlekraw: Look at those abs. They're intimidating.

Would I actually ever buy the scooter my friend saw for sale? Where would I ever ride it?

So... Today is my bridal shower. I have some friends who legitimately can't make it, because they are a.) in Japan, b.) managing an event for a school they run or c.) in another city and the babysitter just cancelled. But I have this one friend who has social anxiety (I think she's autistic)-- is constantly depressed because she never goes out and has no friends (except me), gives me guilt for not hanging out with her because she so lonely... And she backed out on coming. First she pretended she had accidentally missed it and texted an apology about being busy yesterday and forgetting. So I told her it was today and she could still come and I had a birthday present for her that I would bring to give her and that I was really looking forward to seeing her there. She wrote back that she had "things to do" and was tired because she woke up early in the morning and had a long week.

I'm just a little pissed off. I get being anxious about meeting people-- but you should make some kind of effort for your only friend. I'm not sure if I should write her off or not-- I feel this is very rude.

I'm wondering what other people think...

TBH, I can understand why she'd be a bit... hesitant about going to an event with - potentially - a lot of strangers. Of course she could have been more upfront with you about it, rather than simply coming up with vague excuses and trying to back out at the last moment.
She should - right from you gave her the invitation - have been clear about her worries, which she might have held just as long. Then you could maybe have made some agreement; a place where she could be on her own if she needed to, a deal that she wouldn't need to take part in the entire "programme", whatever would fit the situation best. However, all of that would of course fall down altogether if she was worried about your other friends finding her "weird".

My friends aren't the type to judge someone for being weird. She's met a few of them (because I forced her to)-- and they were really nice to her. I told her they would be there. And I told her I would be there to make sure she was comfortable.

I just find it so annoying (it's been years now) that she talks constantly about how depressed she is at having no social life-- when she rejects invitations to socialize. She's been complaining about this since I first knew her. On one hand, sure-- I want to have sympathy. I've also felt severely out of place at times. But I know you don't get over that by further isolating yourself. It's so strange, because she goes to meetups (full of strangers)-- but she won't come meet any of my friends.

What you said about her possibly needing a time out is right. I'm aware she does sometimes need to go to a quiet place-- because I've seen her do it. For example, we were at the county fair together, and she had to go sit on the sidelines because she got overwhelmed by the sound and the noise. I get that. She did go back to the fair, though, and enjoy herself. Later that night, since I was driving-- I made her go to dinner with my friend. (She tried to back out of that too, but she physically couldn't.) They got along well and she said she had a good time. She knew that same friend was going to be at the shower. That friend's roommate and best amiga is autistic, and she was fully okay with my first friend's quirks. She promised to look after her and hang out with her. It would have been fine.

She's never even responded to my wedding invitation. It's been months. Even my other friends with issues at least got back to me. Some said no, but at least they said something.

I understand what you are saying, Red. My sister said it too. But the things she might have been worried about (being judged or overwhelmed) would really not have been an issue. Everyone there was kind, friendly and would have been welcoming. Going to a quiet place would not have been an issue. (It was a quiet party-- and it was at my sister's house. Some people did have to go do things privately and were able to.) I wish she had been honest with me instead of lying. I just don't want to hear from her anymore about how she has no friends and never gets out to any social events, though. The only thing I want to hear is that she's gotten herself a therapist.

I also feel oppressed that I'm only person she socializes with. Is that terrible to say? I fully understand why she puts people off. Some aspects of her personality put me off too (mostly the intense negativity)-- but I have always tried to overlook them and empathize with where is coming from. I don't entirely feel like doing that now. Some things she can't help-- but other things she definitely can, yet she refuses to do anything to address them, even if I offer to help. I get being scared, but how you react to that is a choice. I honestly don't know how to feel at this point. Maybe it shouldn't matter. Plenty of people were there and it was a nice event. Half of me wants to be understanding, but the other half of me is fed up.

Of course she should have been honest, for her sake as well as yours. After all, those issues don't go away just because you try to ignore their "source".

Redhead Ember wrote:

Of course she should have been honest, for her sake as well as yours. After all, those issues don't go away just because you try to ignore their "source".

That's the other thing. She completely refuses to address her issues. She doesn't think there is anything about her that needs addressing, short of losing weight and being less depressed. (She doesn't need to lose weight-- she's thin and cute looking).

But I swear to god, she has autism. I know it's not entirely cool to diagnose your friends, but... I have other friends who are autistic-- and she has every single symptom in the book. She won't look into it, won't see a therapist about it, won't even consider it. I don't know if there is any benefit to finding out you are autistic as an adult-- but I just think a lot of her problems could be fixed if they were addressed directly.

For example, she speaks in a monotone voice that is really depressing. It's not depressing because it's monotone (not every monotone is a downer). But her specific way of speaking makes her sound perpetually disappointed. To be completely frank, you aren't going to make friends or find a boyfriend (which she wants to do) if you sound disappointed every time you talk to a person. You are going to make the other person think you don't like them. And it's relentless. She never sounds like she's happy to hear from you.

That's not her fault. But it's the kind of thing I think someone could help her with if they understood her specific issues. She would have to practice raising her tone at the end of a sentence instead of lowering it. Couldn't some kind of therapy help with that? That one change could make her so much more approachable for other people.

I don't know. Is there any point in trying to get her some help? Or should I just continue being her only source of friendship? But how long can that last... I'm going to have a kid-- and I just won't have the time in the future. When I told her I wouldn't be able to hang out one on one like we've been doing once the kid is born, she offered to come over and cook us dinners. I don't want dinners. I want to be able to invite my friends over for a bbq and have them show up. So I can see more than one of them at a time- because I won't have the individual time to dedicate. And I don't want to have to feel bad that someone is left out.

I think I'm just venting. I've been frustrated off and on for years about this.

If she is autistic she definitely needs to get a diagnosis so she can get the prober help. Take that from an autistic person.
I know several people who were diagnosed as adults, they pretty much all express relief at finally finding an explanation to why things so difficult, which other people seemingly had no issues with.

You can't be her only source of friendship. Soon you'll have a family on your own to think of.

I have never been so sure of something in my life.

And I know you can be autistic and have friends and live your life. I've seen people do it. I've enjoyed hanging out with those people. I've seen them date and work and be pretty happy overall. (One of them is one of my closest friends.) She could do it too, if she tried.

Okay-- I'm gonna give it one last ditch effort to find her some help before I give birth. Then I have to give up.

Redhead Ember wrote:

If she is autistic she definitely needs to get a diagnosis so she can get the prober help. Take that from an autistic person.
I know several people who were diagnosed as adults, they pretty much all express relief at finally finding an explanation to why things so difficult, which other people seemingly had no issues with.

That's what people have told me. If you say it too, I guess it must be true!

I think where you need to start is finding out whether she's coming to your wedding.
Just walk up to her and ask her directly, in a way which doesn't make it possible for her to avoid answering. At the same time be clear that while you'd love for her to come, which I assume you would, you're not going to bite her head off if she doesn't want to.
Because, ya know, biting people's heads off for not wanting to come to your wedding is just bad. Actually; don't bite people's heads off for any reason. You're just gonna get stuff stuck between your teeth. Also it's... kinda illegal I think.

Not sure if THIS is exactly the same ... but it confirms Redhead's last post.

That you shouldn't bite people's heads off?
Or... my post before that?