Her original message, names changed and whatever:


hello, sorry for messaging you but i'm guessing you're D's ex wife. I dont know if you talk to him but i'd appreciate it if you dont tell him about this as i dont get on with him now. I went out with him a few years ago and found out a lot of the things he told me about his past was bullshit so i just wanted to ask you if some of the things he said about his time with you was the truth, for my own peace of mind. If not, that's fine and i wont bother you again.
Take care, N

My response:

Hi. Sorry it took me so long to reply, I wasn't sure if I wanted to drag all that up again. And, well, I've been hiding from him successfully for quite a while and wasn't sure if I wanted to jeopardise that. I most definitely do not talk to him! And I don't want to either, as the restraining order I had to get against him and his mother should prove. As far as his pathological lying goes, I can probably guarantee that about 98% of anything he ever told you is untrue. I hope you are well and that his court ordered anger management course paid off

N:

oh, thanks so much for replying....the thing is that if someone isn't from your town you know nothing about them and so they can tell you anything....he is on here so if you haven't got him blocked you should do so if you dont want him to see you as he was always searching for steffi...i did think he'd have to of done something bad for you not to let him see her. he always maintained that while he was with you he was working nights and caught you in bed with his mate and stabbed him, went to prison for it but he couldnt remember doing it. then he joined the army...which didnt sit right as i dont think they would take on someone who was in prison for attempted murder!!!...he said he did the anger course but the last straw with him was when he threw a bottle at me...i never spoke to him after that although the useless git is still in the same town as me unfortunately...he got caught out at a rally the other week telling people he fought in afghanistan lol....little did he know i knew them and they actually were in the forces...one day he'll get a slap for all his bullshit. hope you and steffi are well. i gather you moved to newcastle...my mum's side of the family are fro jarrow

'SCUSE ME WHAT??????

At this point I am laughing so hard I need to sit down and compose myself before replying

ME:

I've had him blocked for years! So has Steffi, she wants nothing to do with him, and it has always been her choice, not mine!
Now I've stopped laughing, I will tell you what really happened. He didn't catch me in bed with anyone or stab anyone or go to prison for imagining it! We argued all the time, he was an arse and still is from the sound of it! He was violent with it, he once picked me up by my throat and threw me across the room, I got knocked out and when I came round he was leaving the house shouting that it was my own fault. Lovely, right?! Anyway, my best friend at the time was a man, I'd known him since I was about 15, and D was jealous. Even hated when I would go shopping with my best friends fiancée and would accuse me of all kinds of things. One day we had a massive fight and D picked me up and threw me out of the house, I went to my best friends house because that's what you do, right? When I got home, D had drank so much, the empty bottles of whiskey were right next to my baby... He was shouting and accusing me of sleeping with my friend again, even though I spent most of the time crying in his kitchen with his mum. But D crossed a line that night. I was holding Steffi who was about 9 months old, and he started smashing up the house with a pick axe handle he kept by the bed. There was glass flying everywhere, he swung for my feet so I couldn't run but missed because he was so pissed, and then he swung it at Steffi. He missed and hit me instead, thankfully. But then he went downstairs to get a knife. I heard him open the drawer and start rattling around and I picked up steffi and ran. He chased me down the street with a carving knife in one hand and the pick axe handle in the other. I was screaming so loud that a neighbour came out to see what was happening and she just grabbed me and swung me in her house and slammed the door before he got to us. She called the police and D was arrested. Charged with threats to kill, assaulting a police officer, possession of a weapon with intent to kill, criminal damage, and when they searched him at the station they found a massive lump of cannabis in his pocket!.
He never joined the army, never served in any combat, he was a contract caterer for the TA centre. He took me to court to get custody of steffi, but never showed up. The judge granted me a reasonable access order. The last time steffi saw him was when she was 3, in a very public place. The other times she saw him was supervised contact in a contact centre ran by a church. I had to get the restraining order out when he started handing my phone number out to people to harass me, was calling my Grandad in the middle of the night, and sent his mother in to the shop my mother worked in to threaten her. Because thats going to work!!
You are well rid of him. I'm so sorry you had to deal with his crap too. I have always said I'm divorced but should have been a widow

N:

oh, i like that last bit lol...his story was he'd give you a tenner to go out and you'd come back with £20 after getting pissed x getting a pizza so he said you were probably on the game!!! twat!!...the house was his, he bought it when he was 21 from drug money cos he was a big time drug dealer. the house was in a rough area so he always had a knife under his bed...while he was in prison you sold the house( which i knew you wouldnt be able to do if it was his) and moved to newcastle. he said he saw steffi at contact center a few times then on the bus with your mum (i think) omg...i knew he was a bullshitter but i didnt know how much....he pretends to be this sexual predator...been there, done that. you should've seen the skanky rats he was sleeping with in hull!!! hahaha....so funny....just gonna make lunch then i'll tell you some more lol x

Laughing so much now I need to put the laptop away and go for a walk XD

ME:

the house was a council house! When I met him he was professionally unemployed, up to his eyes in rent arrears and was constantly hiding from the telly licence people! He was never a dealer and could barely afford to buy supernoodles for his sodding tea! I was working full time in a factory, with my legs firmly shut! I cleared the rent arrears when I moved in and got the telly licence sorted. He got a job as a security guard working nights, that part is true. He got fired after he was arrested because his bail conditions were that he wasn't allowed west of the A19 because thats where we were, and so was his job. The house was in a rough area, thats true too. The council knocked the estate down a few years ago. 74 P******n Road, P*****l. That address is on all the court papers, lol! I knew he wasn't very good with the truth but that takes the biscuit! I'm laughing so much I'm going to need to break out the tenna lady! Did he tell you he was up to his eyes in loans too? He was sleeping with the provy woman to pay them off. I worked with her fucking daughter! 'Scuse the language, I'm a bit sweary, lol!

N:

hahaha so am i!!!....he said when you went out you'd bring a girl home for you both to share....think he wanted me to be like that so he said most of the people he'd been with had been...he worked when i first met him for sodexo at the barracks in beverly but got the sack from there for his attitude. since he's been down south he's had two jobs and got the sack from both of them. he's still a lazy c*nt!!! never had any money, i paid for everything even his food when i went to see him. he ponced everything, fags, booze, food, money. the most useless man i've ever met! about his childhood he said his mum was a prostitute for sailors and an acoholic. he was taken off her because she was letting men she knew sexually abuse him but he didnt know this till he was in prison and they showed him social services reports about him. he was adopted and his dad was horrible to him (his real dad was a greek bloke who his mum shagged and the condom burst). he was brought up in a mansion and never got anything from them and he shagged most of his adoptive sisters, which i found pretty sick. he attacked his dad who then died the next day of a heart attack and he got the blame. when he moved down here he was supposed to rent somwhere but didnt fuck off from my house for 6 months till i had a massive row with him. he now lives in a scummy little bed sit which i bought everything for...i had a lot of male mates which he always moaned about. i split up with him after paying for a night out and him as i usually did and he said i always leave him out but it was cos he was a miserable shitbag who didnt join in with anything or know how to have a laugh....he had a job last summer for a while and my mate was the garuntour for his bedsit. he didnt pay the rent and got her in the shit x she had to take the landlord to court to get out of it which cost her over £1,000!!! he also said he got a girl pregnant when he was 13 and possibly another one too...then had the cheek to say i shouldnt let my daughter go out in a short skirt when she was about 13....he's still a lazy shit x all he does is watch telly and eat hahaha x

Me.... just now:

Jesus, I don't know where to start with that lot!
Firstly, I never brought anyone back, ever! He wouldn't let me go out on my own for a start. Wishful thinking on his part there! His real mum was a prostitute, that's true. She would charge people in vodka. I witnessed it first hand and still have fecking nightmares! He knew all about it from when he was very young, I never knew if the sexual abuse thing was true, but his adoptive mum told me when he was 2 and she fostered him, he was malnourished, didn't know how to eat food and had rickets. I'm more inclined to believe her. His real mum did say that his dad was a Greek sailor, but she had that many clients I don't know how she could be sure! The mansion was just a big house with a couple of extensions built on it. 6 bedrooms I think? To accommodate all the kids they fostered, he did shag a couple of the foster sisters, but not the one they'd legally adopted. They were all "troubled teens", I met some of them and it is believable! His dad had a brain tumour, he was a very sick old man when he died. I heard the punching him story too, but never asked the family if it was true so I can't tell you about that. Did he tell you about the time we went out when I was about 3 months pregnant and he started a fight, then ran off and let his mum deal with it?

N:

he said they paid her in booze and he didnt meet her till he was 17 and she introduced herself as his mum in the pub. he didnt tell me about the fight but i'm pretty sure he couldnt fight his way out of a paper bag and just likes to pick on females. he lived with a girl called alison before i met him and she threw him out and another girl he said he went out with who smashed up his house but i'm inclined to think it was him that did it!
i knew he was bullshitting with a lot of it cos i suggested going to sunderland a few times to visit his family and old friends and he always made an excuse not to go...think he went there recently for a wedding though....he looks like something from the taliban now haha

ME:

He was probably scared they'd tell you the truth! He's probably pissed so many people off up there that he will be lynched! I have to say, I was a bit worried about responding to you because I didn't want to think about that time any more, I've left all that behind and moved on. But you have absolutely made my fucking day! I haven't laughed this much in ages. What a fucking knobend!! He deserves all the fucking karma he gets

OMG ... you and little Steffi were lucky that night! *hugs*

What a ... worthless example of mankind. I hope you've left behind that time and experiances and moved on as well as your words and laughter suggests, Nibblet. And that you will never NEVER must deal with that shit at all.

Wow- that man sounds like a piece of work! What a pathological liar! I'm so glad he's out of your life. Just a waste. At least you got your little girl from it. That's a beautiful thing.

Some people...

*hugs the Nibblet*

Sounds like my ex. Just add drugs and you get the same story. Only thing I still think his busted nose was from someone who caught with his old lady and not falling into the door frame at work.

OMG!! That man is a extreme worthless pathological lying bitch! I'm glad that you and Steffi never have to deal with that shit again.

*hugs Nibblet*

Don't worry about me, guys! That was a long time ago and I was a different person back then. That was like another lifetime for me, its done, I moved past it and I am clearly the better person here! Who says things like that? Everyone lies, its human nature. But when I go its like "I'm leaving now, I'll be there in 20 minutes" as I'm still deciding what bra to wear today kind of thing. Not "I stabbed a man, served time then fought in Afghanistan." He is such a waste of everything. The convo with his ex went on and got a bit weird so I left it hanging and didn't respond any more. She was talking like we would be best buds forever and we should meet up. Uhhh... Nope! Time to click the block button, maybe? Anyway. My curiosity is sated and I don't feel the need to reminisce on that other me any more. That doesn't mean I will never read those messages again whenever I need a good belly laugh!

OMG.... *HUGS*

*hugs* you always were the stronger one