How do you feel?

Trollbabe

Trollbabe wrote:

Miscellaneous, even when you are part of a happy couple, it's hard being surrounded by people who go on and on about the children and grandchildren you will never have.

I know how that feels like, to want children badly, a big hug from me too. There are lot of ways to be sad hey? Reality can be... Bwa, not easy. There is what we think we want for ourself and then reality comes in.

*a tight hug for everyone who's in need for one* I wish you a peaceful Advent time and joyful moments that compete with the sad ones. *group hug*

Be well soon, jaRf *brings chicken soup and a warm and cosy blanket*

I saw a lot of myself in the past few posts. Despite going on quite a few dates over the past few years, until my last relationship I had been single for more than 10 years prior to meeting her. You get used to the loneliness and bury all the shame and resentment you feel at times when you see others who have found love. You meet people, but there never seems to be a spark that you both share...until when you least expect it...then suddenly one day there's someone in your arms that sets your heart on fire and all of those years evaporate and you live fully in the present and enjoy every precious moment. And now you are one of those couples walking hand in hand down the street...and it feels wonderful...but surreal at the same time.

But then tomorrow things can change and that love will be gone...but you have to keep going. One of the last things I remember my ex saying to me before we parted ways were her words regarding a night we were out at dinner and she saw me smiling and watching a very adorable baby. She told me that she knew I wanted children, but knew that due to her medical issues she could not have kids of her own, and even if she could she just didn't feel that motherly urge.

It was a bitter pill to swallow...but it was true. I have always wanted to have a family, but now that I'm 42 and single again I'm learning to accept and be okay with the fact that it may never happen for me. It still hurts more than words can express...but thankfully I have nieces and nephews to help fill that void.

But yeah...some days when I look at all of the happy couples and kids on Facebook I want to punch the screen...but ah well...I found love once, and I know I'll find it again.

Icetooth, we're pretty much the same age. It's something I try really hard to not think about. I never even wanted kids really until recently. My mother had my youngest sister at 45-46, which is kind of crazy. But she'd already had a few by then. I don't know. Maybe it's a way of retaining immortality ... wanting it. But not wanting it. I want it if it happens, if that makes sense. I don't want to push for it. But I also want hoping for it to be enough, and not be passed over. Yet it's not like my absolute dream. Does that sound flaky??


As to how I feel: I feel tired. When the cold weather sets in, I am annoyed. I made a gumbo today. We're canceling a trip to the mountains of North Carolina of looking for emeralds and quartz and beryl to save money to move this next month and take a trip to Florida. I understand the necessity of it, but I'm annoyed. I hate worrying about money. I hate having it get in the way of the fun stuff. I don't want to be just another bill paying couple, screw that. I'm annoyed my book is 30 pages away from being done and my brain has decided to do its best omelet imitation... hey guys, look at me, I am scrambled as fuck and I'm adding some elements for texture and taste!


Can I just blame this all on the weather? I think I can. I will

I feel excited! There a small booth down town and they're selling churros. I'm gonna go buy some tomorrow.

Miserable. I talked with people why I feel so bad and it actually made it worse.

Pissed!
A while back my phone developed a tendency to run completely out of power during the night, which would make me miss my alarm. However, it always happened if it had already been low on power (around 35% or less) and I was able to solve the problem my putting it on power-saving mode during the night, this time it had had around 90% and I had power-save-moded it. Still... completely dead and it still hadn't started charging enough that I can turn it on!

And if that wasn't enough (some of) the lamps in my kitchen started acting up.

And it's that time of the month...

Super Super Excited to be participating! And yet down because I have to work on school project first.

I am stressed out because work is very hectic, there is still a lot of crap going on and one collegue was nasty.

I had a very good conversation with the same collegue who was being nasty the other time, and I have started two new creative projects that I am excited about so I am pretty happy right now.

Feel better soon, Miss Gillespie.

OUCH. Not the best week for you, Redhead. Sounds like a problem with the battery of your phone. Is it solved by now? I wish you a week full of good days ... and then another one. And another. *hug*

Happy to have you here participating, Evie! Good luck with the school project(s).

Sounds like it will work out well with that collegue, Sifra. Happy dance for feeling creative and happy!

Me feels appropriately lazy-tired. And content - my calendar Project is almost finished and will be up as planned. ... given the comp keeps cooperating.

Feeling like I have missed out on so much here but I've just been busy with life...
Promise I'll try to visit more often!

Anyway... so next week I'll already be married for 6 months... time flies! Still loving every bit of it. For those who want to see pictures, I have some on Facebook. Shoot me a PM if you want to see.

Feeling quite happy with my life at the moment. I was completely fed up with my job (for at least a year already), and last month (nov 1) I got to start at a new job much closer to home! A month-and-a-half in, I'm still loving every bit of it. Sure, there's frustration when the software doesn't do what I want it to, but that's to be expected so I'm even loving that.
And to add to that, my baby sister moved out of our parents' house last week which means she doesn't need her scooter anymore - and I got to buy it for a good price so now I can get to and from work even easier, compared to my 30min walk + 10min train it's now gonna be just 30min drive on the scooter

Earlier today I spent some time figuring out what our health insurance is going to look like next year. Found the best option for us which saves us quite a bit too, so yay for that! Unfortunately the website was acting up so I couldn't actually have the changes processed, but that should be just one phone-call away during the week.

So, all in all... darned good here.

HUGS AND KISSES FOR EVERYONE. Feel better soon for all who are under the weather, and have a jolly Christmas month!

Thank you for telling us about all the good stuff Faeriegirl! It took me a little out of my end-of-day sad mood. So now I want to write about the good stuff: i spent a few days with an old friend, it was comfortable and fun, and if I'm sad now, it's by contrast

Glad to see you show up again, faeriegilrl!
Even better to read that things went well and better for you. A happy marriage ... a lucky job change ... and a new vehicle as cherry on the cake. ^^ The new job sounds good, fae!
*hugs and kisses and more good luck on your way*
I wish you a happy, peaceful Advent time.

And more good news and happy feelings - sounds like you had enjoyable days, Miscellaneous!

I'll add to the good vibes. I had a good day yesterday.
Slept in. Had cuddly time with my Ginchan. Then a nice chat with a tribemate. Relaxed hours at my favorite cpoffee house - with excellent cake of course! And finally gift-giving-evening with my coffee-house friends. Got a cute Christmas angel figurine (gelfware I guess) in pleasant green and white. And I got a "gift" from my meal - I found a "carp stone" in my fried carp.
If you have enough of them (and talent to process it right) you can make jewelry. Or - you'll try out the ledend that says if you have one of those "lucky stones" in your purse it will be never empty. ^^

Today we had years end dinner with collegues - and I got another carp stone out of my meal. And an additional one from a co-worker's meal. Carp luck!

I feel entirely confused over the concept of a blonde Two-Spear.

Cold

* hands out blankies and hot cocoa and tea*
Yup, today is pretty cold.
But I had a good day at work and have an evening of relaxation with the hubby now, so I'm good!

*tucks Trollbabe in warm blankets and cosy furs*

Wish I could do this literally ... and figuratively.
Bringing warmth to homes and bodies ... bringing some easiness and safety to minds and lives.

I wish you warmth, Trollbabe, success and luck to find a way for you and your dear husband. *hugs*

I feel accomplished, me and my dad just spent the past two days painting the living room and we're all done! It feels so good to actually be able to just sit down for a bit.

That's great Evie, well done!

I feel... I don't know. Kind of like my emotions have been flipped off. I got a phone call from my dad, my grandmother fell and broke her arm and pulled her arm socket.

I hope the best for your grandmother, Startear.

I feel tired. I need a day off, but there's so much to do, and then there is Christmas, and the ten thousand celebrations everywhere to go through. I wish I could go into hibernation...

All good wishes for your grandmother for a fast and complete recovery, Startear.

And for you a pleasant relaxed Christmas time. *hugs*

I'll pray for your grandmother. It's hard when someone older breaks a bone.

I'm excited! Christmas party today!

Have fun and nice company, Evie.