Things you wouldn't dare say out loud

Startear I don't know a lot about your situation but in my experience feelings of pity come back with a vengence when you didn't have much time to feel them when it happened. Maybe because you were too busy with something else or because people made you feel like your feelings about the situation were not important or acceptable. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say because english is not my main language and this is a hard topic to talk about even in my own language.
I hope you have been able to have a good talk about it and that you're feeling a bit better now.

You brought this on yourself. How could you say you'll never have someone like me in your life? You had me...heart and soul...but seemed to take everything for granted. I wish you could let go of those chains from your past that have weighed you down, but I cannot carry your emotional baggage for you. And it's not how much you have, it is how well you carry it...and yourself.

May whatever entity I don't exactly believe in forgive me...but I have such a sense of calm...of peace and happiness after leaving your house tonight. And we both knew...that the end is real and for good this time. I wish you the best on your path...for whatever it is that you need in your life, it certainly is not me.

I...am...free!

And life...it is looking a little brighter.

U can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved. All you can do is drown with them. And what's the point of that?

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm actually 28. Putting me in my late twenties. Not early, not even mid, but late.

Redhead Ember wrote:

Sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm actually 28. Putting me in my late twenties. Not early, not even mid, but late.

Starting to feel the same... turning 27 next month here...

....i'm lonely...where does it leave you when you want friendship you can never keep or even get sometimes, and you don't want pity or sometimes even help? you just want to be involved?

Yes, it is most unlikely.

Even more unlikely it would be for me to go to FB and on the Robcoil-administrated pages.

Embala wrote:

Yes, it is most unlikely.

Even more unlikely it would be for me to go to FB and on the Robcoil-administrated pages.

ROBCOIL!!!!!!!!! F*cking brilliant

Love you to bits, Em

One of my dearest friends has an addiction to psychic readings and I do readings myself. I met her online, she was a client, and I felt she had a gift. I felt I could help her with her addiction by helping her be a reader herself. She's done great and clients love her. But because of a couple of situations, she's back to her addiction. And as a friend, I need her right now, and she's lied to me, told me she was talking to mother. In fact, she was talking to another reader. I hate being lied to. Just tell me the truth! I'm a big girl! I can handle it. What is this shit? She's spending hundreds of dollars for the past week or two now doing this and I keep trying to talk to her about it and she insists she's fine. But I have my own crisis today and she lied to me and this is where I draw the line. I'm not good with it. I can't trust anyone ! I hate this! I want to fly out to her state just to smack her across the face, get in my car and drive back.

There are too many other things going on. It's a full moon. I'm in the bell jar. I just feel all alone. I'm tired of working really hard to be there for others while they aren't there for me when it really counts. I'm not perfect and know I can be a pain in the as at times. But I'm always loyal and authentic with the people in my life. I just feel I've been lied to and treated as less than shit today. I'm so goddamn disappointed in the world.

Also, Robcoil is f***ing brilliant! LOL

*group hug* for everyone who needs a hug.

Zadzi Being lied to really sucks. I know. I hope you have found someone who can help you out.

I would like to tell the bank guy who helps us with our mortgage to stop blundering around because I am sick of having to go back and forth to the bank for papers. It's summer and I want to lie on the beach with my children instead of having to deal with this nonsense!

I cannot defriend you. No way. And it would be so hard to let you go.

I wish to support you and don't know how.
Don't know how to ask.
Don't know how to help.

That thing that happened on Wednesday, I want that to happen every day, but properly. I want to finish what I started and keep doing that because it made me feel like i mattered for a few minutes.

I wish I really mattered to at least one person.

You matter to me, to Em, to us. But how can we convince you of that?

You matter, Nibblet. *group hug*

*Glombstackles Nibblet*
You matter.

*all the group hugs for everyone*

little personal rant...:

no you moron, it is NOT an iguana. iguanas are in fact green and very big. this lizard on my shoulder is smaller, light tan/reddish or yellow, and far spikier, without just the row of spikes down the spine. it's a BEARDED DRAGON. and yes it's fricking alive, i do not have some weird fake lizard sewn to my shirt.

LEARN THE BASICS OF REPTILES GODDAMNIT IT

Geez, I'm so sorry your not getting your promised promo, but rude and condescending to me isn't going to get you anywhere. Oh and by the way my sup can't even guarantee your promo. Guess you should have stuck with me instead of demanding a sup. What a complete waste of my time.

I've been thinking of "catching the bus". I haven't done that for two years. The loneliness isn't worth fighting for

*hugs Nibblet tight*

I cannot say "I know how you feel." Guess that's an experiance I'm not sorry to have missed. "I feel with you." That's true.

You matter, Nibblet. Life matters. Love matters ... caring matters. There are lifes that would be poorer without you. There are people who would lack support and positive experiance without you. I am.

*sending positive vibes and good wishes and hugs*

Sending my own hug for Nibblet.

It seems like I can almost feel you thinking about me...and then come your random emails. And they go right in the trash. I'm sorry, but you need to let go and forget all about me. My biggest failing with you was that I was too nice...too forgiving and all of the things in your life that you kept ignoring got heaped onto my shoulders. And you never seemed to really understand just how much stress that put on me.

I had left the door slightly open so that perhaps someday we could be friends...and maybe...just maybe if you were in a better place, we might connect as a couple again. But your actions after our parting made me realize that this will probably never happen...I can only hope that one day you will develop the empathy to truly understand how severely your actions can hurt those close to you.

But there is a part of me that will remember the good times...and nothing you ever say or do now will change that. Part of me does miss you...but I also miss our mutual friends...your dad and especially your mom. I had to walk away from it all so that I could heal...this is my time to walk in the woods, and I must do it alone...without you.

It sometimes makes me feel a bit uncomfortable when race rapports talk about someone 'surviving' a crash, because there have been guys literally not surviving a crash.