How do you feel?

(Congrats Evie!)

Frickity frickin damnit, what the hell do i even think i'm doing?! I'm actually trying to go into covers and voiceacting?! I ordered a frickin microphone, a proper recording one with the breath shield and everything and what the hell am i doing?! I think i can sing..???! I've had people say i'm good, hell even recently a coworker with a very picky brain said my singing, quote, tickled his brain.

But what the hell am i DOING??! I'm actually doing this?! What am i thinking?! Other than there is no way i can sing if i don't stop near hyperventilating because i'm so nervous. What if i fail?! Jesus what if i SUCCEED?!!! What if i post some songs and people like it?! I've been wanting to do this forever and now it's gonna happen?! What am i DOING??!!

Okay mini panic attack...mostly over. Please don't mind me, i just needed to get this out cause...god what am i thinkiing, doing this...I'm nervous and...probably a hella lot scared...

Pretty awful, because my insomnia is back. I've had a month of good nights and now this...
I'm not sure if I have to go back to my sleeping therapist. I didn't feel like what she did helped me at all.

Also, annoyed because my company wants to have a stay talk with me. Never heard of it, and my company never explained, but according to the internet I will be talking with some office woman about what motivates me to do my job. Apparently companies think people like to do this. It feels like an utterly useless thing to do, and I wonder if I get paid to do this. Because they planned it outside my working hours and I suspect I will be wasting my free time, keeping the office lady entertained.

That's such a drag, @Sifra. I hope you find a solution fir your insomnia.
I hope you get payed. Serves right since you're forced to do it.

I feel like the biggest clumsiest dumbass ever!!!
Yesterday I had an accident where I stepped over my foot in a downhill on my way from work and I fell and scraped myself up, quite allot on one of my knees too becauseI just had to be cocky and jog a bit. I had to maje a stop abd use what I had to clean it, and luckily I had a kinfmd if a plaster to cover it till I got home.
But I discovered that I had managed to make an ugly rip in my new skirtI mean, I'm wearing it on day three, and I do that of all things. I can't fix the rip, but luckily it was at the bottom, so I can just cut off the lower part and hem it, so there'll barely be a difference, but I just curse myself for being do clumsy.
And on top by that I dud a cloth wash when I got home, and when I hubg it up I discovered the earphones I've been looking for for three days!!!
I'm like whyyyyyyyyy

I contacted my work about that talk. Turns out that despite how it appeared, because they were so persistent about it, the talk was voluntarily. Because they didn't pay me. So I canceled.
The latest annoyance: they asked me to work extra hours. Tomorrow, at nine in the morning. But they never confirmed and they never sent me where I have to go and who the client is. Sadly, it is entirely possible that the sent me this information ten minutes before nine and expect me to still be there. Life is always so exciting in health care...

@Rainflower that is a lot of bad luck for one day. (I have washed multiple ear phones, being the mother of teenagers... Also a pair of braces... )

Hah, good thing you chose to cancel it then. Just dumb of them to even imagine you would consider. Old boss used to pull us together and force us on these work meetings that should have been payed, because she had no legal right to force us but she was a master quarreler so she got it through. On my new job now at least we got hours off.

But sheit that's even worse. Rather unprofessional of them to give you so little information that late and just leave you like a question. If you get the chance, just question their sence of profession. Cause that is not good service. I hope you figure it out and that it'll be worth it.

By the way, thanksGeez, I can imagine.

Finally, finally, past all the morning sickness. Never thought I would get here. I still feel like I'm never quite hungry or full, which is annoying, but I've fallen into a Rythm that keeps a body satisfied. This next week I'm going in for my mid pregnancy ultrasound. I'm a bit nervous, the nagging worries that they'll find something concerning, but also looking forward to seeing the little one. Not finding out the sex if anyone is wondering, we're keeping that a surprise until the end.

@Evil Evie I hope the ultrasound will just be a good experience!

I feel sad and helpless, seeing my teenager struggle with her social life. She is so lonely and she's so sweet and nice. Just because she's a little different the other kids let her down and ignore her.

I wish I had some good advice or comfort, Sifra. I feel for you and your girl. All good wishes for you and your girl and that she will grow strong and happy. *hugs*

Good luck, Cleopatra Glad to read you are feeling much better now. I'm sure everything will be fine with the little one!

Anxious. Getting a hip replacement in two weeks.

I wish you all good for your operation!

Thank you !

All good wishes for the operation and a speedy recovery, Trollbabe.

Omg good luck, I hope it goes well!!!

i am very....irritated. i got kicked off a discord server because one person asked for controversial opinions, i gave one, and when i got pissed at being called a racist and told literally to "educate myself", they got pissed because i refused to debate my opinion or say they were right, and told them point blank they were pissing me off because they had been disrespecting my point of view lately. this was not the first time. previously, had been low key insulted because of my choice of shampoo and how i care for my hair, then second got told i was boring af because i'm a traditionalist and will not date a man younger than me.

i kinda liked the server. it was a nice small group that was constantly active. and it reminds me WHY i just don't socialize with people. i consider myself actually very open minded. i don't care when people think differently from me. as long as you're not hurting someone, i don't care. and i do NOT like having someone trying to force their opinion onto me. i'm not pressuring you, do not pressure me.

so pretty frustrated. why is it so difficult to just be yourself and be honest with your thoughts without people jumping down your throat about it?

thank you Embala.... part of the reason why i haven't been here much. well that and work has been very stressful. *sigh*

and it was ONE person who got offended. and like i only got kicked because that person just kept kicking up a fuss. i wasn't talking to them, they weren't talking to me. we had blocked each other. and it was the person who opened the door. it just feels so petty....

but i keep trying to remind myself if that's the kind of people they are, i don't need to be around them. those kinds of people suck.

Geez @Vaeri, that really sucks. I've encountered folk too like that. It appears like some folk really don't actually think, they just have an opinion just to have an opinion or simply disagree just to disagree. I'm sorry you were kicked out, but that probably means it was run by the wrong folks. Says more of them than of you.

thank you, Rainflower. my friend who opted to leave the server once he saw what happened says that i handled it very maturely. i did try.

but i feel better now. i tried a different server, and i rather like it. again small place but very...unrestrained XD i spent most of the night laughing my butt off at the kooks in it.

Good for youIt's never fun if you're the one who always have to surender. There's one server where i haven't cut it out, but I've just waited till the discussions are over and another topic comes.

Feeling surprisingly not tired despite full week of work.

Oh, hugz Vaeri!
Good that you have found another space in the world wide web to be. Good luck with that.

Two weeks after total hip replacement surgery. Still aching a little but starting to feel normal. First ten days I screamed a lot and couldn't sleep more than a couple of hours.

Sounds like you are straight ion the healing path, Trollbabe. Have a fast and steady recovery.

PS: I'd love to send you Old Maggoty instead of Leetah. ^^

oh my, that sounds hard. I too wish you a very speedy and good recovery. hugz

Thank you , packmates!

I too would prefer Old Maggoty, as she is one of our elders.

The practice of healing among the Trolls is open to anyone, as we rely upon our minds and hearts rather than inherited magic.

I'm sure Old Maggoty doesn't need anyone to send her. She has her own sources and knows ... in case you need her she will be there. Be well soon, Trollbabe.