How do you feel?

Also, feeling GREAT as I have two reasons to actually look forward to Valentine
1. I have Boi
2. I don't need to make over 100 rose bouquets anymore 🥳

@Embala Thanks. You too. Until you really feel well again.
@Sifra: I bet you made wonderful bday parties for your princesses.
@Rainflower: I hope you feel less tired in the future.

Thanks @Prayer, but I assure you that I'm not half as tired now as I would have been in the flower shop, especially at this time if yearI wish my former colleagues good luck for tomorrow.

I really miss the time when my daughter was 13, and she thought I was some kind of super hero. She disliked the mothers of her friends, and would always say I was so much better then them.
I think I didn't appreciate that phase enough while we were in it. Because now she's 16 and she thinks I am the stupidest person on Earth.

I don't need to tell a mother about teenagers - but I know it stays hard, Sifra. Hopefully this phase will pass soon and your good relationship will return. Differrent as before but as loving and appreciationg.

I feel with you, Sifra. How much can a mother's heart take? As Embala well said, I too, do hope that your relationship will return. I also hope she is not building barriers.

My sons are just 8, 5 and 2 but I am aleady a bit anxious about how things will shift as they grow into puberty...  

I hope they will a bit come after me...because when I think back, I guess I was not a rebellious teenager, maybe a bit of a 'roomplant'. I loved reading and drawing at home and my mom tried to push me to more often go outside lol. I think I had an 'ok relationship' with my parents altough sometimes I was internally angry at my father. He is a ship engineer and I hated when he had to go on a ship to work because he would only return after 5 or six (!) months. But apart from that I grew up in a loving home and I showed my love to my parents.

@Embala thank you. I hope so too! We were very close when she was younger.

@Prayer you sound a bit like me when I was a teenager. That sounds hard, to have a father who was away so much. I can imagine that made you angry.

I feel simply tired for the last two days. I'll better get some quality sleep tonight.

Oh no, sleep deprivation is so bad...

I hope you got a nice, looong sleep the last nights (8 hous+ minimum) and that you already feel better now, Embala.

I remember my relationship with Mom compared to my friends' relationship to their moms. Polar oposites. I guess it's not really a perfect reciply, but in the end I think perhaps it works out. I actually started to rebell a bit more in grown age, but I've always been late in everything.

She might need you when she's past her rebellion period. I know it's hard, but maybe just try to act like nothing and pretend like it doesn't affect you? You know, reversed psycology?

Feeling mixed up. Mom's going for a hip surgery in the morning, and I really feel sorry for her cause i know what they're gonna do with her, but most of all I feel bad that I can't turn the house upside down and clean it up properly like i really want to, cause poor Mom hasn't been able to do a thing for months since her pain escalated.
I'm staying over at the folks to ease everyone, but I need to go to work as well, so I really feel like I'm not doing enough.

I hope that your mom's hip surgery goes well Rainflower and that she feels better afterwards. It's always stressful when a family member is going into surgery. I'm sure that your folks really appreciate you being there for them, even though you don't feel like you're doing enough.

I know my mom struggled with helping her parent's, when my grandma's health declined. Between being there for me and my brother and working herself, she admitted that it was a lot. Make sure you're taking care of yourself too.

Thanks, @Evil Evie. I'm only gonna be here a couple of days. I spent past day here, and i think she appreciated moral support and what little i could provide. I'm gonna be here while she's away, she's not allowed to go home the first 24 hours and that's where I'm gonna make sure people don't fall apart here.

Feeling happy to be home again with Boi and Kitty. They missed me, and I was so happy to see them.

And I'm so relieved that Mom's surgery went well, although it took a bit longer than expected, and she had to stay there a night more than planned. It's only rutine, but it meant I had to stay a night longer with the folks.

Glad to hear the surgery went well! Wishing your mom a speedy recovery.

I am....not okay. I wish i was happier, and excited. I got the keys to my new apartment finally. I'm moving in Wednesday.

But this is also it. I'm completely ending it with my ex. I've been saying for months i wasn't going to take how he treated me, that there is no longer any room for reconciliation. After this, i'll probably never see him again except maybe a glance in downtown or walmart. And i won't talk to him. I'll just walk away.

But it's still hard. Harder then i want to admit. I worry if i'm making a mistake(i'm sure i'm not). I wish things could have worked out, been different. I know i'll probably meet someone better down the road.

But i'm still sad. And a little hollow. And i'm not sure what to do with myself, beyond putting one foot in front of the other.

*hugs Vaeri* I think your feelings are just normal, Vaeri. Very human. I wish I'd have good advice or share experiance. Good luck for moving and all good wishes for your future.

Sorry to read this, Vaeri. I think you might feel better, when you are able to close the door of your new apartment behind you, leaving the asshole of boy behind you finally, And when you can have a little rest after the stress of moving . I wish you the strength you need to get this moving done quickly and good luck for you in the future.

Thank you guys. *hugs to both* i knew my healing wouldn't really start until i moved so i'm not very surprised by how i feel. I feel a little better after some sleep.

Apparently my ex still doesn't believe i'm leaving. My friend, his cousin, told me last night apparently my ex keep s peeking in my room to see how much i've packed. Quite silly since i've packed just about everything, most recently my precious books. I'm very sure his mother put it in his head that i won't leave, because all she ever makes is empty threats and judges everyone else by her standard. And he keeps talking to his mother about how "he doesn't care if i leave"....yet why does he keep bringing it up?-_-

I'll be paying my deposit for the movers today. This may very well be my easiest move yet, as i don't have to load or unload anything. Still concerned about all my stuff of course.

*crossing fingers and toe for the move*

It sounds like this guy sorely needs a taste of actual reality in life, that it just won't go the way he wants just because he's used to it being.
When it comes to you, @Vaeri, it might take a while as is normal. I remember how p####d I felt when i realized that I had wasted a whole year on my ex. But it didn’t take more than 6 months before I found Boi, and I realize that it was hard learning, but I grew stronger from it. I sincerely thought I'd never be able to move on, but you're getting there, believe me
I recommend to think of it as 'you won and he didn't'
Cause you did!!! You stood up to him. Sure you got some help, but you #$%% started it. 🥳

Unfortunately you are more right than you know. His mother is a narcissist...and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I thought he'd escaped it but nope...anyway he'll get his dose of reality. After i told him when the movers were coming...he immediately went for a walk afterwards. A sure tell he's pretty upset, despite what he says.

Wait..is Boi a person or a pet???@_@

ewww, the only way you can get along with narcisstic people is to run away from them as fast as you can and as far away as possible. This species is so toxic. My parents in law are both narcisstic ego arseholes who think, everything they do is right and the best , and every one else does everything wrong. They are the standart, you can only loose , even if you are not willing to join in their stupid contests (e.g. who is better in helping children with school, who bakes the best cake and other bullshit...) you get simply dragged into it. WTF, WHY!? They live now 3 hours (driving with car) away from us but it is still not enough space between them and us. And hubby is the same pissed of them as I am. For 25 years I have had to put up with these people and my poor hubby since birth.
I think despite your loss and sadness you gain freedom.

OMG I gave THAT impression?what the heck have you guys been thinking LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
Yes I can tell you @Vaeri that Boi is a person, the love of my life.

Thry do get it from somewhere indeed. Lucky to hear not everyone inherit it. Sounds pretty tiresome with the inlaws, @Yeee.

Hahaaa sorry Rainflower, that was my impression from your post after your mother's surgery. Boi and Kitty....so i thought you had two cats or something...^^0 i hope your mother is doing alright.

I'm sorry to hear it's a never ending battle for you Yeee. You are so right, they are unbelievably toxic!

I am seeing this first hand today and i am so livid. She's trying to stop me from moving out!

Today i told her the movers would be here Wednesday morning and if she could move her van into the yard so the movers can park in front of the house. She told me she had talked to a lawyer and i needed to replace the mattress i'm taking before i leave.

Keep in mind, the mattress i bought and am still paying off by myself. I told her i'm not doing it and she can take me to court if she wants to. But i told her and him months ago i was taking that mattress with me. I told him in December he should start saving up for a new mattress because i was taking that one with me when i leave. His response was "i'll sleep on the floor". She asked me what i was taking out of his room and i told her just the mattress i paid for mostly by myself. Her response was "ok, his family will help him get a new mattress" i'm like good, cause i don't have anyone to help me.

And then she wants to try and say i can't bring the movers here because the lease is in her name and she won't be here. Just....wtf? And she was saying before when she tried to get me to give back the key to his room that she'd be here. A load of bs. I told her i wasn't giving back any of my keys until i left because i was not going to be locked away from my property.

She wants to try to say i can't do this or that because my name isn't on the lease. But i am a legal tenant so i'm pretty sure if she tries to do anything, it'll hurt her more than me. Besides, she's always made empty threats in the past. A lot of noise and no action.

I've heard allot of people threatening like that, with lawyers and stuff because they may have gotten away with it before with weaker people and just walk through with that trash talk whenever it fits them. Good thing you're adament, @Vaeri. She too needs to understand that she can't have her way. Sounds like a real psyco if you don't mind me saying it. Good thing most 9f them are just talk and less action.

And yes, I have one Boi and one female cat, it's actually his cat, but she made me her mom when I moved in. They deside things like that you knowBoi is just my name for him here
And for updates, Mom's surgery has gone smooth, though her leg is a rainbow now. It's not a pretty sight, but it's no surprise considering what she's been through.

Yup. Narcissist. And the crazy thing is my ex tells people things and twists the story to make me out to be the psycho. I realize now just how glad i am i didn't marry him. He'll never be able to seperate from his mother. Just like his older brother, who is in his late forties.-_-

Ahh i see. Well i'm happy you have a wonderful man and a wonderful kitty. Someday i'll have a wonderful man, and a wonderful beardie, and a wonderful dog...and maybe a wonderful bird lol.

Hooray for smooth! Though personally i'd be quite fascinated if my leg were a rainbow. My bruises amuse me...lol i am a bit of a weirdo. If she can, massaging the area will help to break the blood clots under the skin which will clear up the bruises quicker.^^